Generally, the things I see in most Love@aol ads for women that scare me are as follows:
- She's 18 - 22, already has 2 kids (or one on the way)and is single or recently divorced. The only thing she lists under interests is spending time with her kids, and she talks about not wanting to play games anymore and just looking for security. This is bad because:
- She was a bad enough judge of character and impatient enough (or whatever) that she got pregnant this early in life. (But then, Anybody who gets married before the age of 25 scares me a little.)
- She has no interests, no life (at least, that she cares enough about to talk about) outside of her kids. So I'd be hooking up with an emotional sponge and a deposit for my money (on the kids, on her, etc.) by picking this relationship up.
- This is not a person. This is a set of problems (including the emotional insecurity which got her married/pregnant/etc. this early in her life) which will have to be solved some day, so that this girl can learn to be her own person. Rather than just a baby factory, or somebody to look pretty, or whatever illusion of relationships she's got built in her head.
- Her main contribution to the profile is that she is tired of playing games, and just looking for honesty. This is scary because:
- Once again, the only thing we are being told about this person is that they are about primarily emotional issues here. We don't get to see what the issues were that built this (likely something to do with the guy treating her as property, which so many guys seem to do), but she's letting it shape her entire presentation from here on out.
- All she lists is how she looks, and how much she wants to party. i.e., this isn't a bar, but she's going to treat it like one.
All in all, what's scary is the multitude of women who base their profiles not on personality, or beliefs, or what makes them who they are, but instead on looks, and quotes out of Oprah Club books, and the emotional need for the support of some guy who fits their view of what relationships are about.