Ok, I woke up today and read in the paper -- ok maybe on the back of a cereal box -- that Toucan Sam is kidnapped and needs my help. He... he was... is. Is. He is like a father to me. His fruity loops make me feel special inside. He was also allegedly abducted buy Count Chocula and Sonny from Cocoa Puffs... a notorious duo that never release their hostages alive.

   It must be some kind of cocoa vs. fruit conspiracy, and my poor, poor toucan friend, nay, mentor is caught in the middle of it. I got a box in the mail that had a fried chicken wing in it, and a note that read, "I ISE GONNA EAT YO BOIRD FRIEND FOR BREKFAST IF THE MONEY IS NOT DELIVRED TO ME! -Not Count Chocula" This has me in tears and I feel as if my world is falling apart at the seams.