Who runs a perl script
every time he logs in, that checks Slashdot
for stories posted within a certain timeframe, and if there are any meeting this specification, posts the reply:
...A Beowulf cluster of these.
If anyone dares criticize him, he retorts with Pat Bateman's Genesis monologue from American Psycho.
Ranks alongside OOG_THE_CAVEMAN in the list of people who make /. interesting.