There are a significant number of vampire-killing cultures which have been left out of this node: at any rate, living in Romania as I do, I can tell you that most Vampires have gotten sick of being photographed by tourists (and getting bad sunburn from all the flashbulbs) and have either taken jobs working on construction sites in Tel Aviv or are busking the Paris metro. Luckily, the Institute for Cross Cultural Vampire Annihilation was one of the few institutes to survive the 1989 revolution. From my friend there, Professor Ion Dragomir:
GREECE The preferred method is to force Vampires to dance to a
Syrtaki in a circle for several hours until the vampire becomes dizzy. The vampire is then pushed of a cliff, and a large plastic
Neptune is thrown upside down onto the vampires chest, piercing its black heart. Alternatively, Vampires have been known to commit suicide from the shame of being convinced to buy shares in a time share in an apartment block off
Rhodes. Still more skillfull is arranging for the vampire to be sold into
Debt Slavery in
Haiti after losing all its money in an internet stock speculation on the
Athens Stock Exchange THAILAND Vampires are generally given several puffs of good hashish and then fed three cups of snake's blood our of the anus of a local transvestite. When photos of this are sent to the vampire's friends and relatives back home, the vampire usually dies of shame.
ISRAEL Three
Hasidic jews, a
Palestinian, two
Right-wing settlers, a
Druse and
Peacenik engage in a discussion about the merits and demerits of the two state solution. The vampire is constantly used as a referree between the arguing parties until it goes to the green line and throws itself on a land mine.
CHINA A banquet is held in a Cantonese restaurant to celebrate a new Joint Venture between the Vampire's Coven and the PLA to supply prisoner's blood to the coven through a holding company in Switzerland. Throughout the dinner, the Vampire is toasted with Rice Wine but the Chinese associates are secretly served water. The Vampire dies of Alcohol poisoning.
DISNEY WORLD Out of respect to the children who might access this site, we will not report what happens to the poor, poor vampire who falls into the hands of the Disney corporation.