Please feel free to correct my grammar and/or spelling; IANAL. (In this case, that stands for I am not a linguist) But I'm not going to bother putting in the proper accents because I have better ways to waste my time than figuring out where they go and how to type them.

In France: "Peut-etre je parle le francais mauvais, mais si ma pays n'ont pas combatiez dans le Deuxieme Guerre Mondiale, VOUS etiez alemaign." ("Perhaps I speak French badly, but if my country had not fought in World War II, YOU would be German").

In Germany: "Ich bin sehr durstig. Kann ich zwei Biere haben?" ("I am very thirsty. Can I have two beers?")

Anyplace in Latin America: "Usted ESO llama un autobus?" ("You call THAT a bus?")