I saw this for the first time in a grocery store
today. A handful of Campbell’s soup cans
had pull tabs
attached to the top of the can.
What the fuck?
Granted, pull tabs are an invaluable convenience for drinks. But I don’t think anyone will be chugging a can of Chicken with Stars
while driving down the road.
I know I’m far from a maestro
in the kitchen. My favorite recipe is Gaspacho Soup
because it doesn’t require any interaction with the stove. But even the most incompetent cook can figure out which is the business end
of a can opener
Who exactly is this product directed at? People too drunk or "special
" to operate heavy machinery
like a can opener? Then they shouldn’t be anywhere near a stove
. ("Nuke the kitty!
Nuke the kitty!")
Even the most slovenly reject from The Odd Couple
or the worst college bachelor pad from hell
must have a goddamn can opener. If not, they’re in aisle 5, dumb fuck. Get your lazy punk
ass to the next aisle and BUY A FUCKING CAN OPENER or GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE GENE POOL
I fear for the future.