One year later, "Freddy Got Fingered" is already in the bargain bin at
Tower Video. It looked lonely standing next to
Revenge of the Nerds 2 and early 1990s
Mickey Rourke thrillers, so I decided to give it a ride. I thought it would be perfect for my sister, who unashamedly owns a copy of
Pauly Shore's
Bio-Dome.
HongPong mentions that "Freddy Got Fingered" is quite possibly the worst comedy ever made. This is an amazing accomplishment in itself, given the competition. The only things I've seen that even come close are the aforementioned Bio-Dome and Chris Farley's Beverly Hills Ninja. This movie is stupid and completely non-sensical.
Tom Green plays Gord, a pathetic 28-year old loser who dreams of becoming an animator. The problem is that his animations suck. Over the opening credits, we meet some of his creations. X-Ray Cat is a sleepy-eyed, beer-gutted cat with the ability to see through wood. Then there's the banana who gets a job as a telephone repairman. We see Tom Green lying on his bed laughing hysterically at his unfunny creations. This is a fabulous metaphor for the entire movie, as it also amuses no one but Tom Green.
Gord drives to Hollywood in a Chrysler LeBaron given to him by his psychopathic father (Rip Torn). He stops to play with a horse's cock along the way, and lands a job in a cheese sandwich factory upon his arrival. Gord also stalks animation executive Dave Davidson (Anthony Michael Hall), and pitches his drawings to him. Davidson tells Gord that his storylines make no sense, and that Gord has to "get inside the animals".
Therefore the next scene is a dead giveaway. Driving back to his parents' house, Gord stops by the side of the road and skins a dead moose, then parades around wearing its carcass until a truck hits him. Warning: This is one of the two funny moments in the entire film.
Gord then mopes around his parents' house for awhile, incurring the wrath of his father. He also hooks up with a wheelchair-bound nymphomaniac played by Marisa Coughlan. She advises him that music and food will help with the creative process, and this leads to Gord playing the keyboard with sausages suspended from the ceiling. THIS IS THE OTHER FUNNY MOMENT IN THE ENTIRE FILM.
Things devolve rapidly from here. The flimsy semblance of a plot collapses under the sheer weight of the moronic situations. In short, Gord's brother Freddy (Eddie Kaye Thomas) "gets fingered", Gord gets a million dollars from Dave Davidson for his cartoon "Zebras in America" (which is nothing more than zebra bodies drawn onto the heads of Gord's family); and spends all the money to have his family's house shipped to Pakistan with his father still in it. In Pakistan, Gord jacks off an elephant, and reconciles with his father while they both lie in a small lake of elephant cum.
My sister, the Pauly Shore fan, loathed this movie. I found it to be extremely funny in parts, especially if you watch it with lowered expectations. In fact, this could have been a very good movie had it been guided by the sure hand of Adam Sandler, or even Rob Schneider. Green wastes some interesting characters (the father, the crippled nympho), and some actors who have been very funny in other films (Eddie Kaye Thomas and Harland Williams, who has very little to do as Gord's accident-prone best friend). The dialogue is also for the most part incredibly awful. Green's inarticulate, mumbly stoner makes me long for the snappy repartee of David Spade.
Daddy would you like some sausage?
Daddy would you like some sausages?