I had done something very stupid and now I was in deep, deep trouble1. My mother was there with me, exercising her penchant for stating the obvious:

"That was really stupid of you. Now you've gone and thrown your life away."

"Yeah," I said and nodded. What else was there to do?

"There's only one thing you can do now," she concluded. "I've got something for you." Ever concerned and helpful, she was rummaging in her handbag. "I got this for you from the Black Market," she explained, handing me a gun2.

I must have looked confused. I didn't think it would help me to shoot anyone.

"All you have to do is point it at your head and pull the trigger. You won't have any more problems. Believe me, it's the best for you!"

I hesitated and thought about it for a bit, but realized she was right. I didn't want to, much, but I didn't have a choice. Mom backed up a bit so she wouldn't get blood all over her dress.

"It's quick and painless," she promised. "You won't feel a thing."

"OK then... " I sighed and pulled the trigger. I was shocked by the loudness of the explosion, and then I felt pain in the side of my head. It started out bad and then got worse and worse. Once second, two, five. The pain was unbearable and I looked at my mother with a hurt look on my face. "Why am I not dead? You promised it wouldn't hurt!"

I woke up, but the pain didn't go away. I had gone to sleep with my head on my wristwatch, and it was poking into the side of my head. I had just committed suicide, and observed my own death, or nearly so. That dream had me stunned and confused for a long time.

  1. I can't remember what and why, but I presume it was with the law.
  2. No, I don't live in the USA.