Morporkian Rhapsody - A Corporal Carrot Filk
To the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody

You're not our real son
Give up this fantasy
You're on the tall side
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
Isn't the ceiling, just a bit close to you?
Carrot dear, it's time to go,
Don't you see the roof's too low?
You've outgrown the mine now,
Time to take the road to

Minty, I'm leaving here,
They are sending me away,
I'll be going any day;
Minty, I will miss you so
But I'm off to be a man, within the Watch
Minty, ooo-ooo-oo-ooo,
Didn't mean to make you cry
I'll write to you when I get to Ankh-Morpork
Carry on, carry on, as if it doesn't really matter

Off now, my time has come,
My Protective on my head
Should it be elsewhere instead?
Goodbye everybody I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and start anew;
Ankh-Morpork, ooo-ooo-oo-ooo
It seems so far away,
But still I think it could be where I'm needed

l see a little silhouetto of a thing
Nobby Nobbs, Nobby Nobbs can he really be quite human?
Fred Colon and the Captain; what on earth is happening here?
Fabricate, Fabricate,
Fabricate, Fabricate
Fabricate Diem Punk; Protect and Serve
But I'm just a new boy and nobody knows me
But I have a rule book, know how it should be
The laws and ordinances of the city

Carrot & Captain Samuel Vimes (Vimes voice in italics):
Easy come easy go , you have to let them go
It's the law! No, we will not let them go let them go
It's the law! We will not let them go let them go
It's the law! Will not let them go let them go
Will not let them go let them go
Will not let them go let them go
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Corporal Carrot, Corporal Carrot, Corporal Carrot let them go
Vetinari has some scathing words to say, to me, to me
to me

So you think you can get drunk leave things to rot
So you think you lay there and act like a sot
Oh Captain; can't let this happen Captain
You've gotta get up, you've gotta take charge of things now

Yes it really matters
Anyone can see
The city needs a Night Watch - The city needs a police force to be free.

Just leave it to the Night Watch (gong sound of salute as fist hits breast plate over heart)