Much of the trouble with this whole parent/non parent issue comes from the fact that children are children, they are not responsible, reasonable adults.
They cannot learn to become so without travelling in the world.
TheLady says:
Throwing himself on the floor kicking and screaming in the supermarket because you won't buy him the new Pokemon soda-pop ia not inquisitiveness. It's emotional blackmail, which you're free to cave in to if that is what you wish - I, however, am an innocent bystander who should not be subjected to the attendant riot
I never wished to cave to this blackmail. However, it makes it very difficult not to do so, if all that the other adults in the vicinity wish is to have a nice peaceful time without any riot. The quickest and most effective way to make a child behave in the short term is to give them exactly what they want. Of course, it's a long term recipe for disaster, but then, next time the little darling goes ape-shit, you won't be around to be bothered by it.(I won't get into the rant about cereal and soda companies -- which are run by adults -- who package bog-standard products in child attracting packaging to prompt these riots in the first place, that's a whole other rant)
The problem with being a parent is that you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't. My reaction, when my child was at tantrum age, was to say "No, you can't have it," and walk away from her, leaving her screaming, if necessary. The screams very soon died, and she followed me, contrite. I was also thoroughly berated about it, on more than one occasion by a well-meaning passer-by. If she misbehaved in a movie, or theatre she was taken out. Sometimes she would be smacked, which would also earn me, at the very least, disapproving looks. She wasn't taken to what I consider "exclusively adult" provinces, such as good restaurants, unless there was absolutely no alternative -- perhaps when we were on holiday and there was no babysitting service available, or child-friendly alternative open. I must also say that she never misbehaved on the occasions we did take her.
I should mention that my daughter is now eighteenish, has excellent manners (when she isn't at home at least) and has been described by people who have had her visit as "a delight", from the age of about three onwards.
I don't believe a child should be allowed to spoil an adult's enjoyment of a social event. It is a parent's absolute responsibility to keep ensure that their child is not a persistent nuisance. However, please bear in mind that the parents too have paid good money, both for themselves, and for their child, to be there, and allow them the leeway to attempt some kind of control in situ before they have to leave, or in a place like a supermarket, understand that a tantrum needs to be quashed, not surrendered to. We realise it's inconvenient and annoying -- but we're attempting to stop it becoming a regular incovenience.
In return, when a parent has spent all evening in their room getting the babe to sleep, maybe they won't scream at the drunken adult who crashes the door of the next room open at 3am, then hammers on the wall to "shut that fucking child up" when it wakes.