“Singing is like wrestling and your audience is your opponent.” –Randy Puma from a 2001 interview
Some men try their entire lives to make something of their lives, and others become legends without applying any effort at all.
Randy Puma is perhaps one of the most celebrated and most misunderstood men of our time. He has made, produced, and developed more than sixty-three albums since his first record in 1995 and yet not much is known how this man could produce such an amazing discography despite rumors of brain damage from a fateful 1992 helicopter accident. Some people have gone so far to claim that the tragic accident is what unlocked the mind that gave up such ballads as “Those Damn Wheels (Just Like My Thoughts)” and “New York’s No Place For Fighting”.
The remarkable thing about Randy Puma is how versatile he is in his songs. In “Suavemente” he shows an intricate understanding of what songs a Spanish speaking audience would like and he blends his rich voice to traditional South American themes played as only his own personal band could manage, and yet he is equally at home in New York city singing “Love Be Found in this Big City Heart”. He is equally comfortable in front of large audiences as well as small and he is able to play the audience as if they were his own vocal chords. It is not unusual to get laid at a club where Randy is performing. His voice swoons ladies like no other voice can. Gay men like him too.
It is possible that such musical genius developed not from a helicopter crash or one too many knocks in the wrestling ring, but from his heritage. Born to an American mother and a Polish father in Argentina he was exposed to different cultures at a young age. His father, Randall Pumanszckowicz, was a war criminal fleeing from an embittered Europe where he turned several hundred of his own townsmen in so he could “Guard one of those Fancy Russian Prisons.” His mother, was a WAAC who, in a bizarre accident, was in a German bomber that was shot down over Poland. She met Randall Pumanszckowicz and they fled the country together. There is some debate on this point, but it seems that her and Randall’s love was based on their shared enjoyment of the goods she was caring around at the time: roughly four hundred kilos of Nazi gold wrapped in cocaine.
As a child, Randy Puma hated losing. Those of his teachers interviewed in Sergia Puellunta’s excellent documentary The Iron Vocal Chords state numerous times that Randy would often get into fights over association-football games, even though he never cared for the sport. “He just hated losing,” Marricia Chalvez, Randy’s first grade teacher recalls fondly. “If you gave him an F, he’d drop the paper, pick up his desk, and hit another child over the head with it. I learned not to give him F’s.”
Wrestling may have played a part in his unique style of music, or it might not have. Sergia Puellunta’s own notes and research suggests that it was the many bouts in the ring that was Randy’s soul passion until the Accident. But even during his wrestling career, Randy Puma was a philosophical man who was prone to long periods of depression that could only be cured by “dark muttering” and “sticky substances”.
The Accident, only mentioned in brief here, probably had a more profound influence on Randy. In the space of seconds he lost his best friend, his favorite pilot, his favorite helicopter, his favorite building, and his favorite wild Oak Tree. This influence is reflected in such songs as “Alphonso” where the unnamed boy mentioned in the song’s lyrics are clearly representative of Randy’s close friend. Never able to truly cope, the Accident is likely something that haunts Randy to this day.
While this is all speculation on the part of This Author, it is known that Randy Puma was introduced to singing by Sammo Hung sometime in 1992 and his first album was released in 1995. “Big Muscles, Bigger Heart” took the underground lounge scene by storm and by 1996 it was the best selling single in single’s clubs everywhere. The song is not as iconic or as moving as his later work but even at that early date his signature sound had been established and his crooning shook the lounge world.
Even more distinctive than his music, is perhaps, his image. He wears an all white suit a size too small to emphases his biceps. His hair is always combed back, and his nose, crooked from his wrestling days, sits at a jaunty angle to his eyes, which seem to glow under hot club lights.
Today his music is just as popular as it was in the early ‘90s, and while he may not be as well known as pop or rock artists, there isn’t a single person in the lounge scene who doesn’t know his name or cherish his work. Randy is known for being deliberately aloof yet very personable. In 2001 he gave a video interview to Juxtapoz Art & Culture Magazine, which is highly sought after by fans.
A short selection of his songs with lyrics.
From “Those Damn Wheels” (1997):
The Wheels on the bus
Go round and round
Just like my thoughts
When they are around yoooooooou!
"Come My Sweet Blonde" (1998)
When you ride on your Stallion
My Sweet Blonde
Be sure to come home to me.
Be Sure to Come! Hoooome.
“Suavemente” (2001)
¡Entonces otra vez, mi señora, usted!
Usted tendrá que ver imitación.
¡Cuando toco su rodilla y canto esas palabras usted ha deseado para oír!
¡Derecho de mi corazón!
O Suavemente O O O. O Suavemente to yoooou usteeeeed!
“That happened in Gatlinburg” (2005)
You would
have had to
have halved the
halves had you
have had to
have had done that
CST Approved.
Sighted the cited Sources so don’t kill me:
http://www.cygywrestling.com/titlehistories/nwaworldheavyweighttitle.html
http://www.cryingmulefromdonkeypunch.com/randypuma/catigoeryartfunk
http://www.juxtapoz.com/index.php?contenttask=blogcategory&id=144&interview1000
http://www.cornhusk.com/pumasong
The Iron Vocal Chords VHS © by VHS Recordings
Randy Puma: A History © 1999 by Sergia Puellunta (pages 5 and 784 especially)