It is now four am
and I am on a full dose of DXM
- that being a full 4 oz. bottle of Robitussin
. If there are misspellings in this, please leave them until I can fix them. I do not have full motor control right now
, and from time to time I start to fall out of my chair. I am listening to Salival
Think for yourself. Question Authority.
Maynard says he's dreaming of that face again. The one that grins wide and comforts with wild eyes. I am sitting at a computer in Brooklyn with too many chemicals in my brain and body, and I'm not sure if i'm going down the hole or coming out of it. I do know that my friend Nick is reading Annabel Lee behind me, and that Edgar Allen Poe was a druggie. Nick isn't on any drugs right now. Neither is Annabel. Just me and Eddie.
Pow! Tool is noising in my ears very loudly right now! This is too much! I mushhh!
when there is ash on the desk in front of me, does it matter that my hands are typing or not? they are still getting dirty. but i am producing. is there a difference? to type or not to type? i must type. it is the only thing my hands like to do right now. These things in front of me are strange. i feel that i can only move along certain lines. but if i type i do not have to use those lines. i think my back should be hurting right now, but i cannot feel it.
i came out to watch you play. why are you running?
i think that i might need a cigarette, but i cannot move in that direction. i had not thought about the cigarettes next to the keyboard for some time now. I think that it might be time for one. i will attempt to light now.
i am now lit. i did not burn any fingers while i was lighting my cigarette. i am glad that nick is here with me. he is easy to deal with. my roommate, tommy, is not so easy to deal with while under the effects of halucinogens. maynard is still saying something about chasing smoke and reason in a trail on the beach beneath a crow. at least i think that's what he said.
prying open my third eye!!!!
good goobers. the song i over. i am most glad. it was becoming too much for me all at once and never. the friction in this new song is not much better, though. i am having trouble breathing as my skin seems to be very tight and nick is painting something from the wind in the willows based on a japanese block print in a book. and maynard still sings. i cannot understand the words he is saying, but they seem sort of soothing. i think. maybe i am wrong and they are threatening. i cannot eat or drink anything right now. my throat does not want to swallow. i am almost afraid. but i have been here before.
once when i was like this i thought i was building a boat. now i am typing. i am pretty sure this is for real, but stranger things have happened. or not happened.
i need a break now, because i have to pee and i am afraid i will zone out and forget and maybe pee myself. so i am getting up now. i will write more in a little bit, but i am submitting this now.
It was decided, upon reading this later, not to update this node further. My recollection of the rest of the night is hazy at best
, and I ended up in the morning on the roof of the building in my boxers. Besides, there's not that much more to say.