Would you like to have orgasms on demand?

Good news may soon be on the way for women who cannot achieve orgasm through normal sexual stimulation. A US company many soon be producing an orgasm-producing device that helps women overcome orgasmic dysfunction. The implant is expected to cost at least $15,000, not including the cost of surgery.

First reported in the British journal New Scientist, Stuart Meloy, a North Carolina doctor, is now seeking a patent for the device. He thinks it could allow women with orgasmic dysfunction to resume normal sex lives.

As reported by CNN, Meloy claims that the idea for the orgasm button came about "serendipitously ... I was treating a chronic pain condition and generated a response I was not anticipating."

A physician implants electrodes into the spine and a small, matchbox-sized signal generator in the skin under the buttocks. The patient would then control the sensation with a handheld remote control. Clinical trials await funding from a prospective manufacturer; Maloy is confident in the safety of the device since it is constructed using off-the-shelf medical components.

At the touch of a button, electronic impulses trigger an orgasm on command. The device will be programmed to limit its use, as its creator says, "a question that remains in my mind is how long should it be used for, who gets to say how many times and for how long it is used," so don’t expect old fashioned sex to be completely out of the picture.

Maloy also claims that the device could work for men as well, though no clinical trials involving men have been performed.

One must be concerned with people hacking such a device: animals in a Skinner box whose lever is connected to the animals' pleasure center will press the lever, sometimes constantly until they die of exhaustion.

Check it out: an early Reuters interview with Dr. Meloy was noded under orgasm machine.

sources include a CNN article (http://www.cnn.com/2001/HEALTH/02/07/orgasm.device/) and the Ask Rhona radio program (www.rhona.com).

When I heard about this device, I was reminded of a conversation I had three years ago with a friend of mine who is fond of posing "difficult questions." One of these was, "Would you trade your penis and testicles for a button which would allow you to experience the pleasure of orgasm whenever you wanted?" Now, finally, people can put their money (or penis, as it were) where their mouth was.

Well, this is certainly interesting. But don't think that it wouldn't lead to REAL TROUBLE. Why? I'll give you a list of reasons, so see if you can spot the conclusion before I give it away.

  1. It's a permanent implant, activated on command.
  2. There is no off switch.
  3. It is remotely controlled.
  4. Because of that, some sort of wave travels through the air (yes, and your skin) to activate it.
Ready? Here's the problem. You, essentially, have a remote control sensor under your skin, a device which transmits information to and from an outside source, with no direct link. And, as is always the problem with such devices, it can be manipulated by unwanted sources. "Surely the orgasm manufacturers will deal with that!" you exclaim. Well, think again.

  • Simple modification of a garage door opener, using a soldering gun, allows it to open other garage doors.
  • Even the most secure remote transmitters can be modified. Example: SpeedPass. SpeedPass is a system implemented in Massachusetts allowing drivers to bypass tolls using an infrared transmitter on their windshield. Tracking them was such a problem due to illegal modification that cameras had to be installed at each tollbooth. (Similar events transpired in New York and other states with similar devices.)
  • There are a lot of inventive hackers out there who would just love to have some fun with this technology.
To sum it all up, the following officially predicted commercial:

Got a rival businessperson who's going to be at that oh-so-important meeting with the boss? Maybe you should pack the Triggermatic, guaranteed to set off every orgasm implant in the room! Ruin careers! Embarass your enemies! The TriggerMatic. Now available in stores.

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.