Goth boots, despite their deceptive name, are boots that are worn by a goth. They come in a few varieties and flavours (that's flavor for those who don't speak the Queen's English) and can be identified thusly:

Combat boots:
  • worn by those in the military
  • favoured by gothic punks and rivetheads
  • may be shiny and new or old and scuffed
  • steel-caps are optional but common
  • beware a militant nature in the wearer
  • gives wearer ability to perform the difficult dance move known only as the industrial stomp

Big fuck-off boots:
  • ridiculous amount of extraneous straps and buckles
  • big shiny bits
  • cause feet to appear twice as large as usual
  • large, unheeled (flat) platform soles giving wearer ability to be taller than usual
  • also known as "fuck you boots" or "moon boots"

Thigh-high boots:
  • commonly worn by females of the gothic persuasion
  • only for those lean of figure
  • laced, non-laced or zippered
  • shiny to the point of direct gaze resulting in near-blindness under harsh lighting
  • a favourite of dominatrices
  • almost always very high-heeled
  • designed to direct attention away from upper body regions
  • opportunity to attempt the "Nice boots, wanna fuck?" pickup line
  • also known as "fuck me boots"

Dr. Martens® boots:
  • usually identified by yellow-stitched soles
  • also worn by gothic punks
  • made in Great Britain since 1960
  • often categorised by number of eyelets for laces ie. 8-ups, 10-ups, 16-ups etc.

And that's the skinny.

My comment on spelling was, in fact, intended to be humourous.

The goth boots heading must also include motorcycle boots:

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