Certainly, anyone who's read the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has heard of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. And having read about the PGGB, I just knew I had to make one for my xenophile of a wife, Erin. And anyone who wants to mix a proper Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster must follow the recipe exactly, of course. And to do that, one must sprinkle over some zamphuor. Well, I had me some mega-gin, and some Ol' Janx, and even a few suntiger teeth, just for good measure. I'd even gotten a shipment of olives, flown in from Italy! But the one thing I didn't have, was zamphuor.

But what in the known universe is zamphuor, anyway? I tried to get some just once, and that trip took me all over... Well, let's just say, the ol' Gray Mouser's jump engines got a good workout that month, that they did. Eventually I tripped over this little backwater planet around Hawking's Star, where I met this one android - but that's a story for a different time.

Anyhoo, I did finally find some, bought it off a gun-runner out near Mintaka, running around plying his wares in a beat-up old cargo dray dolled up to look like a Seclundi frigate. Never did figure out why he'd want to pull a stunt quite that brazen. But yeah, he had a box or two, hidden away in the back under a crate of antique German kinetic rifles and some really bad Korvallan porn. He wanted four hundred RP for a little ten-gram vial, but what could I say? When you have a captive buyer...

So I finally get the stuff back home, and crack open the vial. It's this glittery silvery-clear powder, y'see, and doesn't smell like much of anything. So I break out my ingredients and get to work, knowing she'll be home any minute now.

When I finally came to, three days later, let me tell you... Whew! The things that went on while I was in the fog! But you know, I've had everything in a Gargle Blaster before on its own, and none of it has quite that much oomph! Yowza!

Musta been the zamphuor. Best four hundred pounds I ever spent.

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