Waylon Smithers is the owner of the world's largest Malibu Stacy collection, has a nude picture of Mr. Burns as his screen saver, and uses a Mac.

"Your new duties will include answering Mr. Burns' phone, preparing his tax return, moistening his eyeballs, assisting with his chewing and swallowing, lying to Congress, and some light typing." From Homer the Smithers, orig. airdate 2.25.96.
"Ambassador Henry Mwabwetumba of the Ivory Coast writes, 'What is the real deal with Mr. Burns' assistant Smithers? You know what I'm talking about.' Ha ha ha, of course we do."
Troy McClure

On that note, let's bring up the question nobody cares about: What is Smithers sexual orientation?

Well, we have a number of examples of Smithers showing some sort of attraction for men. In "Lisa the Skeptic", right before the End of High Prices (or the world) is proclaimed by the Springfield angel, Smithers finally gives in and kisses Mr Burns. He has many fantasies about Mr Burns and his parents wanted him to go to the "Maison Derriere" (a house of burlesque) to "give it a try" in "Bart After Dark".

Add to that a big ambiguity in the events that occurred between John, the owner of the kitschy store in the mall (Cockamamie's), and Smithers. John has taken the Simpsons out on a tour of Springfield's sordid past and, as they're eating lunch, they run into Smithers.

Sounds like a couple, doesn't it?

To be honest, to give any character in the Simpsons any sort of static "traits" of any kind is probably a mistake. Every resident of Springfield changes from episode to episode, that's part of the beauty of the show.

But, thanks to the writers, Smithers is at best ambiguous and, in my opinion, the only attraction Smithers has is an beautiful, undying love for Mr Burns, regardless of age, gender, social class or race (or the fact that Burns treats him like shit). Isn't it wonderful?

I think to find the best answer the sexual orientation question, let's let Troy McClure answer the Ambassador's question from the beginning of my node:

"As you can see, the real deal with Waylon Smithers is that he's Mr. Burns' assistant. He's in his early 40s, is unmarried, and currently resides in Springfield."

Quotes courtesy of snpp.com...thanks!

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