I have had three lovers now who were sincerely offended
at my involuntary pat on the back hug
s. I know, I know... pat-on-the-back-hugs feel patronizing
. They feel like I'm protecting you. They feel like you think I think you're my only child
Excuse me, but... no. I don't think you're my child. It's just the way I hug.
Our television has taught us that the Pat On The Back is a gesture of consolation and condescension:
The pat-on-the-back hug makes you feel small.
I'm really trying not to do it anymore.
I'm trying hard to make my hugs conform to How to give a hug.