Ah, the famed Tic-Tac-Toe playing chicken
. You'll see them a lot in midwest
ern State Fair
s, often next to the bearded lady
, Lizard Man
, and my personal favorite, Horton, the Heroin Junkie
The scheme goes a little something like this :
- Acquire a trainable chicken and a tic-tac-toe playing machine, the kind that never lose if they go first.
- Modify the machine to beep after the human opponent makes a move, and at the beginning of a game. Also rig up a button that tells the machine to make a move.
- Train the chicken to go and hit the button every time the machine sounds a beep. The best way is to reward the chicken with a kernel of chickeny foodstuff when it pecks the button.
- Put the chicken in a cage and hide the button in the cage between panels so that people can't see what's going on there.
Now you're set to start parting fools and their money
. The chump
walks up, pays money, and the game
starts. The machine beep
s on the start of the game, so the chicken
walks behind the panels and clearly peck
s at something; a move is made. The rube
moves; the machine
beeps; the chicken pecks the button
again and a move is made. To the idiot
there, since the chicken
is clearly hit
ting some kind of hidden panel of button
s, it must
be the one making the move...
So, knife, that's the trick. You can stop training that poor monkey to actually play now. You're just confusing the poor primate, you know?