It's snowing. This morning I found out that I need to replace an axle in my car (which has a tendency to hydroplane) which will cost about $200. Shortly thereafter, I found out that I had basically lost my job, as I have been demoted to an on-call stripper (imagine being demoted at a strip club!) which means that they want me to sit by the phone, and if any of the regular girls calls out, they might call me to work. And now I'm wondering what kind of person I have become, that being fired from a strip club can make me cry and spur my first depressed day in months.

I actually really liked my job. I worked at a club called Kaos (the sign reads Kaos, nightclub and deli) which was a fairly "classy" club, as far as these places go, no one tried to touch me or expected a hand-job, which was a relieving change from previous jobs. I got much needed exercise, and I love to dance, plus the other 'girls' there were very nice and friendly with a minimum of cattiness, and occasionally they smoked me up in the bathroom. I even enjoyed talking to some of the customers, especially when they bought me drinks or food.

I am already in debt and I haven't finished Christmas shopping, I have no idea from where January's rent will materialize, the boy and I are moving at the end of January and I'll need a security deposit, my car is hungry for repairs, and making bagels (my other job) pays pitifully. The last thing I want to do right now is search for a new job, as my Women's Studies exam is approaching, I need to arrange my class schedule at two different colleges for next semester, my apartment is in a state of squalor and I've been informed that prospective tenants will be visiting right after New Year's, I want to spend drunken holiday time with my family and friends, and I need to pack and make other distasteful moving arrangements.

I apologize for the run-ons. They always got me in trouble in middle school. I'm overwhelmed and upset and worried and ready to drown my sorrows in many glasses of Resurrection with the geeks at the Brewer's Art. Maybe Knarphie or Ground Control will take pity on me, and become my alcohol patrons tonight.

In regards to the soft-link about automatic cools for females writing about sex!, there is no sex in this node. I briefly mention not giving hand-jobs, but this is about frustration, not the implicit sex of the stripping industry. I will probably write a node about that some time, but this isn't it. I have a couple of nodes that are far more sexual and one was eventually C!, but weeks after it was written, and hopefully not for the pornography, most were not.

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