Dropkick Me Jesus (Through The Goalposts Of Life) is an
American country music song written by
Paul Craft and recorded by
Bobby Bare in 1976. The reference here is to the game of
American football. (Note: This should not be confused with the sport referred to as "
football"
by the vast majority of the planet, which we have taken to calling "
soccer" instead.)
The phrase itself is not entirely
self-consistent in this regard, as the entire concept of "
dropkicking" is a highly
anachronistic concept in American football, let alone dropkicking as a viable means of scoring a
field goal. The general consensus among various experts on the sport seems to be that no one has attempted a true dropkick
since the early 1960s. (Contrary to popular belief,
punting and dropkicking are not the same animal.)
It might be tempting to try and explain away the song's curious reference to dropkicking a field goal as a nod to "
Arena Football," a relatively new sport which makes wider use of the dropkick and is generally considered the
ugly red-headed stepchild of traditional American football. However, Arena Football
was not even conceived by its inventor,
James Foster, until February, 1981. In all likelihood, the only real explanation for the song title is that its author didn't consider, "Placekick Me
Jesus (Through The Goalposts Of Life)" to have the same "
je ne sais quoi," even though, technically, anyone Jesus might have used to score points against any recent opponents was almost certainly placekicked (assuming they weren't involved in a play from scrimmage resulting in a
touchdown).
Aside from these various technical considerations, this is a rather curious
metaphor for
ecclesiastical insight through
divine intervention. Being kicked in any manner
is not usually considered to be an
enviable proposition, and the thought of being summarily dropped to the ground
before the actual kicking commences, frankly, sounds
even less inviting. Having your god gently lead you by the hand into a state of
spiritual ecstasy sounds much less jarring and would probably be more effective
in
proselytizing. This dropkicking business might appeal to new converts if your god is a
prowling ninja with a penchant for
Shaolin Soccer, but to most of
us it sounds like a somewhat
dubious talent for
God the Son to rehearse here on planet Earth. While God may very well have
Real Ultimate Power, I'm pretty sure that he only
flips out on
Mephistopheles and his
cronies.