The Man.
man, just the man, damn him.

The creator of the original Sharkey's Homepage of Sharkey, now called His birth was heralded by children with trumpets and other vague Christian imagery] that has pre-Christian roots. He founded the North American chapter of the Society for Alcoholic Introverts Who Hate Stupid People and Cannot Escape their Evil Clutches (SAIWHSPCEEC, pronounced add-on). Sharkey was once arrested for impersonating a lemon, not because impersonating a lemon is illegal, but because he was a sour lemon, and belted a cop with his scotch bottle. But there is tragedy to this happy go lucky story as well, Sharkey underwent a greulling several weeks while trying to stop smokng, and our hearts went out to him at this hard time. It is not clear whether or not his devious plan to quit smoking, involving three buckets, pornography, a bed, a television, nailing himself in a room, a bottle of valium, and miscellaneous canned food stuffs, worked, but he hasn't mentioned recently, so it might have.

After the stop smoking escapade he took a hiatus, due to a Natalie Portman's nipples related injury. After spending thirty six years licking his wounds and nursing his pride, he burst back onto the egocentric websites scene, pioneering the now popular Page of Evil (PoE). Riding on the success of the PoE, he funded the development of and the fabrication of the first Pikachu. Finding, after months of travel and wasted publicity, that no one wants to buy a genetically engineered yellow chinchilla that electrocutes children when it feels threatened, he killed all but one in a fit of frustrated anger. He and the remaining pikachu traveled the world, challenging other assholes to duels, but alas, all of the other creations were dead, so Sharkey just had to punch the shit out of them. After realizing that the damned rat couldn't say anything but its name, Sharkey used it to smash out a window a the head offices of Nintendo for making the game Tetris too damned addictive (Sharkey spent most of highschool in the Betty-Ford, battling his addiction to the falling bricks). Sharkey has not seen the pikachu since.

Now, years later, he continues to produce his webpage, although he was never the same after his torrid affair with the entire cast of 'BayBay's Wonderful Life' a terrible teen sitcom that never made it to air in North America. My heart goes out to you Sharkey, even though you don't like stupid people.

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