I'm not married
left me, and by the time he did, there was more relief
in the parting
. It was a bad marriage
, best over and done with, and by the time it ended there was nothing of love left in it.
But still, there are things I miss
... not about him
per se, but about us
When I say, in the course of day-to-day conversation
, "It's possible..." no one
not a pig
!" in highly indignant tones.... and though no one
else can hear the gap in the conversation
... I can.
No one understands, and chuckles, and hugs me when I point to a copy of the video
"The Best of the Best
" and say "Ooooh look! The Diot of the Diot". No one does,
because no-one but me remembers the tape-label, painstakingly home-printed, and rendered
with a most artistic stripe down the centre of the lettering.
My secret language
, built of shared memories
Three weeks before he left we had our last true moment as a couple
. We watched
"The Full Monty
" together, and at the end, as Hot Chocolate
I Believe in Miracles
we got up and danced together, enthusiastically
, and with laughter.
It was good
And I have no one to remember
The secret language
in any long term relationship is very important within it...
And you don't loose either the vocab nor the grammar simply because you are the
only speaker of your language left in your world.