Start Again


There was once a tribe that traveled from place to place and never put down roots in any place for long. They kept moving, and stayed together, as the world around them built upon itself until tribes had united into villages, towns and cities. The tribe would wander through these places built by other tribes, but they would not desire to stay long. There were mountains to be crossed and seas to be sailed.

In time, the tribe was preyed upon by stronger, violent tribes who would descend upon them to steal their food and goods. Then, upon a visit to one of the magnificent cities on their world, they were set upon by thieves and murderers. The men of the tribe who survived were tortured and forced to watch the women raped, tormented and slowly killed. They could do nothing to help them, and dared not try after watching many of their brothers killed for resisting. Once the women were killed, the rest of the men were killed as well.

During this night, the women called out in unison for help from beyond. They asked anyone who heard them to help them to escape these torments. Their song reached the angels, and an angel was born to guide them. The angel would be known as Anastasia.

Gathered to face the judgment of their own souls, the women of the tribe all swore a vengeance against the men that had raped and killed them. Anastasia wept, for she knew they could not make safe passage. Their souls would be reborn in the same place they had left, going no further, in order to learn from their own patterns.

The men of the tribe faced the same judgment from their souls, and they did no better. They all swore to take revenge on the men who had done these terrible things. As the women of the tribe, the souls of the men were reborn in the same place they had left.

One of the men stopped in his journey. When asked the same questions the other men had been asked, he was more sheepish in his answers. He looked to the ground and said he wished he had not been so afraid and that he was glad he was dead because he was a coward. The light of safe passage opened before him. He swore an oath of his own, but unlike the others' desire for revenge, his oath was to protect the tribe and keep them from harm. His soul returned to the same place it had left.

Upon the return of the man's soul to this place, the angel Anastasia would come to him in dreams. She would remind him of his oath and of her faith in him. For many years, the man who lived a new life from birth to death, never spoke of these dreams. He considered them odd bits of fantasy. And through every life he lives, he feels an emptiness never filled, but sometimes satisfied. The tribe walks in every life alongside him, hidden by distance, hidden by crowds. When they find each other again, not remembering the history of their souls, a great energy is released and anything is possible.

Sometimes healing takes more than one lifetime, this is why sometimes these lifetimes can stretch for eternity. The patterns, the healing and the reconciliation are keys. No soul may pass from one frame into another until it is at peace with those it leaves behind.

The man who admitted his own cowardice lived many lives in the same frame. His inability to find peace with himself often drove him to drastic measures to end his suffering. Not even knowing why he suffered often made his condition worse. He continued to follow the same patterns and make the same mistakes.

By the time the tribe met its end, its numbers had dwindled to a large handful. Those who stayed until the end are joined by a strange bond, with some still desperately seeking vengeance after many lifetimes. The coward would sometimes meet those who carried the souls of the tribe. He never understood why, but things always clicked together. Yet, he would always lose the connection in the end.

As they continued to repeat the same mistakes, Anastasia intervened and joined together with them. She spilled their souls into each other's, to help them find each other again, and confused their reasons for needing each other. For this, Anastasia was banished from the house of angels. She had intended to help the tribe, but she had only confused them further. She was forever joined with them and remained lonely in exile until she desired to walk amongst them. Her desire was possible, but only if she could be conceived by two members of the tribal bond.

A story read to me in my dreams
For many years
Sometimes I remember it.


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