By James McIntyre (1827-1906)

We have seen thee, queen of cheese,
Lying quietly at your ease,
Gently fanned by evening breeze,
Thy fair form no flies dare seize.

All gaily dressed soon you'll go
To the great Provincial show,
To be admired by many a beau
In the city of Toronto.

Cows numerous as a swarm of bees,
Or as the leaves upon the trees,
It did require to make thee please,
And stand unrivalled, queen of cheese.

May you not receive a scar as
We have heard that Mr. Harris
Intends to send you off as far as
The great world's show at Paris.

Of the youth beware of these,
For some of them might rudely squeeze
And bite your cheek, then songs or glees
We could not sing, oh! queen of cheese.

We'rt thou suspended from balloon,
You'd cast a shade even at noon,
Folks would think it was the moon
About to fall and crush them soon.

This poem can be found in the book 'Very Bad Poetry', by Kathryn Petras and her brother Ross. Thanks to the memepoolian mpc, who dredged this poem up.

Ode on the Mammoth Cheese Weighing Over 7,000 Pounds is a poem by Victorian era lyricist James McIntire. It was written in honor of a 7300 pound block of cheddar cheese produced by James Harris in Ingersoil, ON, Canada. The cheese must have been quite the attraction, as it traveled further than most people ever did at that time, being shown at expositions in the United States and Europe. Just like the cheese itself, the poem was a successful effort to promote the local economy in Ontario.

Sometimes known as "the cheese poet" or the "Chaucer of Cheese" - the subject of this node being only one of his many works focusing on dairy products and local culture - McIntire was admired in Ingersoil for his poems and oratory efforts, which both typically showcased his love for the community and its customs. As a writer, he has largely been forgotten after his death, and even during his time on earth was not respected by the critics. Wikipedia states that

"McIntyre was uninhibited by minor shortcomings—such as his lack of literary skills. The Toronto Globe ran his pieces as comic relief".

The poem with the alluring title was first published in 1884 in McIntire's Book with the almost-as alluring title, Musings on the Banks of Canadian Thames, including poems on local, Canadian and British subjects, and lines on the great poets of England, Ireland, Scotland and America, with a glance at the wars in Victoria's reign. Being over 130 years old, the work is now in public domain - see the other writeup on this page.

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