The BBC radio program I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue is always keen to get feedback on it's quality, and one listener that has never failed to dissapoint is a Mrs. Trellis from North Wales.
Humprey Lyttelton is fond of sharing these correspondences with the wider listening audience and Mrs Trellis's little pearls have been a regular feature of the program for years. Here's a selection of some of Mrs. Trellis's more pertinent letters :-
The mail bag is bursting with a letter from a Mrs. Trellis of North Wales, in her capacity as chair of the Rhyl & District Naturalists Mornington Crescent Club. She reports on an interesting observation made while out with her binoculars. She
Tits like Coconuts!...but sparrows prefer breadcrumbs.
Yours faithfully, Mrs. Trellis.
....but first, I notice that sitting next to the BBC Listener Reaction shredding machine, there's a letter from a Mrs. Trellis of North Wales. She writes:
Dear Miss Adie
If any listeners are fed up with those endless trails that keep appearing on the wireless, why not wipe them off with a damp
cloth and put down slug pellets to stop the little blighters coming back.
Yours sincerely, Mrs. Trellis.
...but first I notice from the duty log that we've received a letter of complaint from an irate listener, a Mrs. Trellis of North
Wales. She writes:
I was appalled on tuning in this morning to hear a torrent of blatant filth, with terms such as 'Big Bang', 'Large Firm
Success', 'Satisfying Performance', and worst of all, 'Job Blows'. It was the most disgusting edition of the Today programme's Business Report ever!
Yours faithfully, Mrs. Trellis, Wildshag Cottage, Upper Sheepsbottom Lane, Much-Humpingham-on-Sea.