Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "Jesus. Eat right, get exercise, get sleep, if you are completely stressed either find a decent counselor or try to talk to multiple friends or do some goddamn volunteer work at the nursing home where the people really are sick"

• Where The Shock Sets In And The Stomach Acid Finds A New Way To Make You Get Sick
• Racing friends with fragile self esteem, or: A good way to get yourself killed
• Where do dogs get their Vitamin C from, when they don't eat fruits?
• Music that is either by the Sonic Youth or by some band that is ripping off the Sonic Youth, but you can't tell which
• For when you and your shiftless friends get something to eat
• My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
• If they do not give you work or bread, then take bread
• Get dressed NOW or you're going in your underwear.
• I acted unprofessionally at work today in order to get home early to node!
• panamaus does the Antipodes, or Get yer shorts on Sydney, there be a NoderParty!
• The game where you get to shoot people on TV
• Your home is at risk if you do not keep up repayments on a mortgage or other loan secured on it
• Just when you get really good at something, you don't need to do it any more
• It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel no compulsion to get up from the table
• Vote Labour or the fox gets its
• Made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others
• We do more after 2am than most people do all day.
• You Better Watch Out, or the Insects Will Get You
• How do cows get all their nutrients, when they only eat grass?
• GeT HiGh Or GeT LoW (user)
• Give me head or the monkey gets spanked
• People who get worked up about misspelling Colombia
• Get busy living or get busy dying
• How to get tree sap or pitch off your hands
• All right, I'm God now. How do I get out of this mess?
• Do or do not, there is no try
• Strange man makes permanent visit
• Airport games that will get you arrested or beaten
• How to get Apache to tell your visitors when files have moved or been deleted
• Getting your Christmas cards out at the last possible moment
• How to get (or keep) a guy's attention at a bar
• finding my way back to sanity again, though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there
• Get off my lawn or I will grab that vacuum cleaner on your porch and set you on fire
• Get Rich Or Die Tryin'
• "It gets better" or so they say.
• Some people feel the rain, others just get wet
• How to herd people in public
• Honk if your horn is broken: Where do they get these stupid stickers?
• Where have all the cute young nurses gone?
• do you want to understand? or do you want to be right?
• If poetry could describe the way you make me feel, poetry would be illegal. Or anyway I might get arrested.
• Things that people do more over and over that I haven't even done once
• why I do have to get so deep with people all the time just to gently let them down 2 weeks later
• Very emotional people are either psychotic or sincere
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel a strong compulsion to get up from the table
• either only mean people live that long, or mean lives make mean people
• I get more done after midnight than most people do all day
• Shit or get off the pot
• Get home from work
• I won't get over it until people get over Jesus
• Craving a smoke
• How to get rid of stress using a Q-tip rectal thermometer
• What to do if the election is cancelled or postponed
• She really does want to clap along, but at the same time she doesn't want to let the bird get out.
• English may be a "living language," but Latin is not -- so get it right.
• Lesbian cow techniques (...or That makes a cow do what?!)
• Cheap tricks parents try to get away with
• Principles of meeting people: Get low, not high
• Nuclear Cats Get New Home
• You're either a patriot or a terrorist
• Why do people on TV eat so much?
• If your friends and girlfriend don't get along the relationship is doomed
• Recommend to a Friend or a Colleague
• when i get out i'll come and find you cause you're my other half i never told you that
• I was wrong as a child, to think old people were stupid for asking me where the day had gone. Now I understand... we older people do not live.
• For tactical reasons, we do not currently advocate the use of violence or sorcery against private individuals.
• Some Jews actually get pissed when you wish them a Merry Christmas
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• I have to get up early and do laundry so I can wear something nice to the weirdo sex club
• Food delivery: Where to get tips
• This is the last talk. Do you want to sit together quietly for a while? All right, sirs, sit quietly for a while.
• Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals
• Why do some people enjoy being in nature?
• Is that to go, or to eat here?
• Eat shit or puke trying
• Why do you want to get married?
• I'll spot you one friend, or two chair legs
• Why some people do not enjoy being in nature
• NODE OR DIE! Can you do any less?
• The potential for brain damage really does get in the way of a good time
• Where did you get that hat?
• How do you get there?
• I don't know where he gets his words but I like them
• What to do if your airline ticket is lost or stolen
• How to get people to clean up their core dumps
• What do you get when you cross the Alps with elephants?
• Where do these girls come from these days? Some finishing school in the desert?
• If you get your opinions second-hand, you do not know anything worth knowing
• Where to get a cinnamon bun in Vancouver
• people do, on the whole, have the right to be who they want to be
• Is it as it is to do or is it as it is to be?
• Twenty-three things to do, or not do, while on steroids
• You sleep with someone for a couple of years, you get to know them by feel
• Do I stay or run away?
• Do similar pieces make a puzzle easier or harder?
• Where to get help with Linux
• I will REMOVE your "All your radical touching base are already occurred to the lesbian monkey puppy" philosophy on me if you don't eat my soy google balls, hatt-baby. Real or malarky?
• Do not put this product into the rectum by using fingers or any mechanical device or applicator
• The square root of any positive integer is either integral or irrational
• Either/Or
• Eigenvalues of idempotent matrices are either 0 or 1
• Except When To Do So Would Injure Them Or Others
• Eat your dreams, before they get cold.
• How to eat wild stuff and not get poisoned
• I find it hard to know myself, as I dress as two people, and my right eye is bigger than the left
• What do you know of me, or I of you?
• Do fat men get fat dicks?
• you get mistaken for strangers by your own friends
• You can't predict or control what incidents in your life your friends will remember and retell
• Rocks Do Not Belong in the Road, or: How to Launch a Mazda Protege Into the Air
• How to get away at work without doing anything
• Or do we like time's children come also at last to the silent shadowlands?
• get right down to it
• I really have to get out of this fucking country
• Get in your car. Do not look back. Monsters are chasing. They're going to attack.
• If she really wanted to fit in, she'd get a smaller dog.
• Some vampires actually get pissed when you tell them to Have A Nice Day
• Do we forgive our fathers in their time or in our time?
• Why post a write-up? (e2poll)
• If I really loved you, you'd never get so close.
• Why does it take so long to get to sleep?
• Do not bend, fold or mutilate
• Where do you consider Home?
• You goddamn kids get off of my lawn!
• How to get to sleep
• Reconstructing Literature or what to do with all of these penises
• I'm going to do something stupid if I don't get laid
• When I sneeze, I get cross, and when I get cross I'm liable to do something wicked.
• What to do if you get in a car accident
• what do you get if you multiply six by nine
• Martyrdom, or why mowing a Dandelion is the best thing you can do for him
• People Get Ready
• Things to do when technology gets here
• Just Yes Or No Will Do
• What do you get if you multiply six by nine?
• Movies where people do 31337 h4x0RiNg on a Macintosh PowerBook
• You're either with us or you're against us
• Do you love me or are you in love?
• Do you want to get slapped?
• Either a Ravine or a Precipice
• It's 5:30 am. Do you know where my sleep is?
• Every school is either a Pepsi school or a Coke school
• Good foods to eat when you first get a tongue piercing
• Swimming pool injury
• Coy or honestly shy, either way I have got mad designs on your dancy eyes
• My car es El Coche Magnifico, or: The Oregon Trail Rally eats my dust
• The Slug Bearers of Kayrol Island, or, The Friends of Dr. Rushower
• Do we even get one whole egg in a breakfast hockey puck?
• Sometimes, my paranoia overtakes me and I find myself asking, "IS ONE OF THE E2 EDITORS OUT TO GET ME!?"
• All good men are either gay or married
• Either everyone deserves or no one does
• I hate you, or why we cannot be friends
• How do you pronounce a 3? Or a 0?
• What can I get for you? What do you need?
• I sucked a lot of cock to get where I am
• I a man sad, with a linux box, a slow internet connection and friends who can not see the love in me bursting to get out.
• How to get a Goth out of a tree
• How to do an overbar or overline in Microsoft Word
• Get a communications degree and we'll talk
• Do not write, stamp, or sign below this line
• You know, that really wasn't a good way to get rid of the Universe forever
• How to get people to leave you alone
• How many atoms of Jesus you eat every day?
• I do not like the sky night or day and keep my eyes on the yellow lines heading under the car
• Tenchi, go get some more *hic* TEA!
• Get The Quote Right
• Gravity really gets me down
• I get high on Jesus
• Do war movies tell the story or show the violence?
• It feels like fingernails across the moon. Or do you rub your wings together?
• Do It or Die
• Where do discarded return values from functions really go?
• get some
• Go out and get some fresh air
• You, standing
• How to get a good night's sleep
• The sad thing is, if you get her you'll be sick of her in a year

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