a weeknight sound track

<< the gilded frame          Thursday, 10pm Eastern          dTaylorSingletary >>

Let's face it, learning to play an instrument is a pain in the ass. You end up with callouses on your fingers or cuts on your mouth or lesions in places you don't care to mention. And while you're stuck indoors practicing scales on your euphonium, other people are out hotrodding, experimenting with mind-altering drugs, and scamming on your significant other.

"It'll all be worth it when my band gets big!" you say, polishing your doodlesack while you look through the WantAd for a decent used kalimba. Poor deluded fool. You're kicking the ophicleidist out next week because all he wants to do is cover Allman Brothers tunes. Your tabla drummer hardly ever shows up for practice, and when he does he wants to sing. You haven't even recorded that demo tape that your cousin is going to give to that guy he knows. And even if you get that contract, the record company is going to screw you out of millions, not to mention all the kiddies swapping your music for free on the Internet!

Stop throwing hundreds of dollars down the drain on expensive tuners, picks, sticks, strings, spit traps, and metronomes! Use the musical instrument that God -- or, alternately, genetics -- gave you. That's right! The voice box! The vocal chords! The pipes! The throat organ! The oral ocarina! Um, OK that's enough.

That's right, use your voice for something other than Biggie-sizing your meal at Wendy's. Become a human beatbox, make weird synth noises, practice really hard and audition for Star Search. In the meantime, gain inspiration from some people who are probably better at it then you: collegiate a cappella groups, the folks who sing pure a cappella, untainted by the greed of the barbershop quartet.

"Now That We've Got That Squared Away"
performed by Metallica, Vengaboys, Led Zeppelin, Bruce Willis, Barry Manilow, Owen Wilson, Jenna Elfman, the Brian Setzer Orchestra, the Beach Boys, Chris Tucker, Jackie Chan, and an unknown hater of saxophones

The Boston College Acoustics - "Liquid"
original artist Jars Of Clay

The Tufts University Beelzebubs - "Semi-Charmed Life"
original artist Third Eye Blind

The University Of Virginia Hulabahoos - "You Make Me Wanna"
original artist Usher

Stanford University Counterpoint - "Don't Speak"
original artist No Doubt

The University Of Michigan Dicks & Janes - "Everything You Want"
original artist Vertical Horizon

The Middlebury College Bobolinks - "Stupid Girl"
original artist Garbage

The Boston College Acoustics - "Barely Breathing"
original artist Duncan Sheik

UCLA Awaken - "Walk Like An Egyptian"
original artist The Bangles

The Yale Alley Cats - "Cloudburst"
original artist Lambert, Hendricks, and Ross

The Iowa State University Shaggy Boys - "Owner Of A Lonely Heart"
original artist Yes

The Dartmouth College Dodecaphonics - "Take To The Sky"
original artist Tori Amos

Indiana University Ladies First - "Independent Women, Part 1"
original artist Destiny's Child

The University Of Michigan Amazin' Blue - "Precious Things"
original artist Tori Amos

The UPenn Penny Loafers - "Sour Times"
original artist Portishead

University Of Wisconsin-Madison Tangled Up In Blue - "Breathless"
original artist The Corrs

The Boston College Acoustics - "In The Meantime"
(original artist Spacehog)

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