The smart-ass answer to this question is: avoid water.

But to stay dry in the rain, slightly more advanced techniques are required.

  • Own an umbrella.  Umbrellas are handy little gadgets that unfold into a large, portable rain-blocker.  They come in all sizes and colors, and usually collapse to about one inch in diameter by twelve inches in length.  But if there's wind, you might have some troubles--they usually aren't built to withstand much wind.  For windy rain, you should probably...
  • Own a raincoat.  A waterproof jacket , usually hooded, designed to protect your clothes from the elements.  A variation of this is the poncho, which is essentially a round piece of tarp with a hole cut out for your head.  Most ponchos also have a hood.  A third option is the heavier trench coat, ideal for colder climates. 

Of course, umbrellas and raincoats require foresight, which sometimes is not an option.  If you have no raincoat and no umbrella, it's time to get creative.

  • Make a poncho out of a garbage bag.  A quick snip for a hole in the bottom, and presto--you have a makeshift (albeit hoodless) poncho.
  • Call a taxi.  It's not free, but it is an option.  If you're near a bus stop, take the bus to a location closer to your destination, even if it's only a few blocks.  You can also offer money to strangers or friends for a ride.  (If you're a young child, don't try that last one.)
  • Call the police and claim to be too drunk to drive.  I hope you're a good actor.
  • If all else fails, suck it up and walk.  A little rain isn't going to kill you.  If you're carrying large or water-sensitive items, you should probably wait until the rain clears up a bit first, but if it's just you and your lonesome, just walk.  Walking in the rain can be very nice, especially if you have a laundry machine and dryer in your home.  If you'd rather not be walking in the rain, and you're in an urban area, you can always hop from building to building.  My university has a building on every block, providing some shelter while traveling from classes back to the dormitories.

Lots of people actually like to walk in the rain, and it can be fun, but not when you're forced into it.

Or you could ban alcohol.

This writeup inspired by my three-mile walk in the rain today.

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