If it would fall upon you to handle a radioactive cat (say, from a science kit experiment gone horribly wrong), here are a few tips:

1. Most cats, upon becoming radioactive, also become very irritable. Therefore, if it becomes neccessary to touch or move the cat, wear heavy gloves. Unless you really want to be bitten by a radioactive cat. (See: Spiderman)

2. There is a small chance that the cat will mutate and grow into gigantic size, and run rampant through downtown Tokyo (See: Godzilla). In this case, don't panic. History shows us that most rampaging monsters will be quickly stopped by a small group of hapless scientists/adventurers/drunks thrown together by random chance. Note, however, that any beaches used as litter boxes should be throughly decontaminated. Note that if the cat was your family pet, it is good to prepare an excuse before talking to your parents/children. (See: The dog ate my homework).

3. A radioactive cat can also be the result of a botched quantum physics experiment. (See: Schrodinger's Cat). Note that such a cat might have experienced a long period of confinement into a small space; a large decontamination room will be less frustrating for all involved.

4. If you are the owner of the cat, you must come to terms with the fact that your cat will, most likely, die. Yes, I said die. Death of a beloved pet is always hard to face, but there are ways to cope. (See: dead cats, support group)

If, in spite of all these suggestions, you are unable to handle your radioactive cat, you should contact the proper authorities immediately. (See: Department of Energy). Good luck to you, and your cat.

This has been a late-night nodeshell rescue. Thank you, and good night.

It sounds like a sci-fi cliché, but it is possible for one's cat to be radioactive, particularly after certain medical procedures - iodine treatment for a hyperthyroid condition is the most common.

If your cat has been pumped full of a radioactive isotope (like radioiodine), there are a few things to consider:

  1. You might want to kennel the cat for the first two weeks of the detoxification period, when the cat is the most radioactive. The cat's going to be miserable either way, but in a kennel you won't have to listen to the poor thing complain. It'll get over it.
  2. If you do bring it home and have other cats, keep them completely separated. The radioactive cat will be sweating iodine through its pores and allowing it to mingle with other cats is a bad idea.
  3. Be careful with the cat's litter box, as the animal's urine and feces will be radioactive. Clean it frequently, and check your area's regulations on the disposal of radioactive material. No, I'm not kidding - most places will forbid you to flush the waste and may require a special waste pick-up to take care of the stuff. Oh, and wear gloves.
  4. Don't go anywhere near the cat if you're pregnant. Just don't.
  5. Do exactly what your vet tells you to do - most local governments don't screw around when it comes to radioactivity and some pet owners have been hit with fairly hefty fines. Be careful.

Google (of course)
and a former co-worker's stories of his glowing cat.

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