, in my friend's dorm
Where is she? Where has she gone
? I miss her voice, her affection coming through digitally clear on an analog
I have doubted. I have questioned
of my own conviction
, my own ability
to love and be loved. The alcohol
makes it so painfully clear.
What am I worth
? I question myself twice
at every step. I cannot trust myself to buy toothpaste
, let alone be with someone
her away. Just like the others. It will end the same
and I reject
. I desire
and I despise
. I yearn
and I flee
I am unlovable.
I am drunk as I node this. I apologize in advance for any spelling/grammatical errors I may discover in the morning.