I sit, in my friend's dorm room.

Loud techno.


Where is she? Where has she gone? I miss her voice, her affection coming through digitally clear on an analog line.

I have doubted. I have questioned the strength of my own conviction, my own ability to love and be loved. The alcohol makes it so painfully clear.

What am I worth? I question myself twice, thrice at every step. I cannot trust myself to buy toothpaste, let alone be with someone.

I'll drive her away. Just like the others. It will end the same.




I want and I reject. I desire and I despise. I yearn and I flee.

I am unlovable.

I am drunk as I node this. I apologize in advance for any spelling/grammatical errors I may discover in the morning.

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