I am attending some very
small college, where each year's class contains maybe a dozen students. I am a freshman
, but for some reason unstated, members of the sophomore
class want me to become a member of their class.
I am standing in line somewhere and someone comments on my feminine hips. I am in one of those states where I am seeing myself from an observer's perspective, so I can see myself from behind and understand what these guys are talking about. It's true, my butt protrudes at a fairly extreme angle, far more pronounced than reality, I'm sure.
Something about a newpaper story that is covering the effort to move me up a class. Also, there is this pervasive air of discomfort about the attention that my hips are attracting from these men. While there must have been some dialogue, what's remembered is the awkwardness of the conversation.
For some reason it seems significant that the landscape of the college is extremely horizontal, no hills, very little variation in topography.
In a separate sequence there is a conversation with my mother about the choices she made in raising me, and how she felt pressured to do things that didn't feel right to her.