I have a history of people exploiting my occasionally generous nature. At work, I used to buy tins of sweets and walk around handing them out. Most people concluded I was being nice, but after a while people started asking me to buy them sweets - thus missing the point of why I was giving them out in the first place (because I love my workmates and want to show my appreciation with mint caramels, naturally).

At one point, my boss (and pseudo-mentor) told me to stop being so generous all the time, especially when said generosity was being exploited. Since then, I've tried to step back during a situation where my impulse is to help someone unconditionally, and ask myself why I'm doing it. Sometimes I catch myself wanting people to think of me as generous, which to me is a bad motivation for helping people, even if at some level it's present every time we do something for someone else. Most of the time, however, it's because I genuinely care about the person I'm helping, and want to ease their pain, or regain something lost, or whatever.

The new drummer in my band, who I've known for around a week and a half, but who I already get on well with, has lost her phone - she thinks she left it at the place in town we go to practice. My first impulse was to ask her what it looked like, then phone this place and ask if they'd had anything handed in - but I stopped short of doing this, and started worrying. For reasons I don't really understand, doing this seems to make people think I'm some kind of suck-up, or I'm overeager to help someone I don't know very well. My mind always goes back to what my boss said - essentially, stop helping people so much.

I'm not a very charitable person most of the time, not to strangers. But at some point after I've started talking to someone, perhaps after we've exchanged numbers or whatever, something clicks, and in my mind that person has suddenly gone from stranger to friend. At that point, I'm willing to do stuff for them, stuff like help them get their lost phone back, and I'm not sure why that's considered a bad thing. It's not as if I'm going to do something stupid like lend someone I'd just met a wad of cash - just something like a phone call, or a shoulder to cry on.

So...er...am I meant to be generous or not?

I have three loves....

I'm sorry wife, theres nothing I can do about it...

I've tried and tried and tried to quit it, but I just can't.

I'm caught up and there’s nothing I can do about it.

I still love you two, but now there is a third

Her names is Nikki and she's got 10.2 megapixels and a 18-55 ED Glass DX Autofocus lens, a 2.5 inch screen, and for some reason, no matter how hard I try I just can't stop touching her :)

Needless to say I'm really enjoying the new camera so far...

Proof on facebook soon.

For anyone interested, the Broadway Across America production of Sweeney Todd will be playing at the Palace Theatre in downtown Columbus on December 15th. The theatre is 10 miles (a 16-minute drive) from karma debt's house. Gary and I plan to go to the 2:00pm matinee show. More info is here:


Based on the reviews I've seen, this should be a good show. If other noders also wanted to go to the afternoon show, we might be able to carpool or meet up for lunch ahead of time or something like that. In any event, the show should be over in plenty of time to be back at karma debt's hacienda for her delicious holiday dinner.

Which I'm quite sure won't involve any meat pies of unknown origin.

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