in the brilliant (no pun intented) british comedy the Fast Show
, played by Caroline Aherne
. Essentially, she's meant to be one of those checkout girls who makes a vain attempt at being friendly and having a quick chat
, but just turns out to be very annoying, and quite embarrasing
The sketches didn't last long, and there wasn't enough either. The camera only pointed at Caroline, and the customer was never seen or heard of.
Here's a couple of sketch scripts:
- Hello. Aww, microwave meal for one? Live on your own? Aww.
Parmesan cheese? D'you know, it smells like an old tramp's crotch, that
does. You sure?
Baked beans an' sausages. They're not real sausages, y'know. They're just
like piddly things that make the beans taste funny.
Four Guinness? Oh, d'you know what? It gives me dad the shits, that does.
In it goes.
Ribbed condoms? Very thoughtful.
Matches. Are they for the fire, or d'you light your own farts? Eh?
Twelve pound forty, please.
- Hiya, love. Oh, big box powder. 'ave you seen 'im who does that door
step challenge? Shite, 'im. It gets on my tit. An' a bag o' crisps. Who 'as
the beef ones in your 'ouse? No-one. Potatoes. I bet your tied to that
chip-pan, you. Oh - chocolate cake. You could do without a bit o' this,
love. A bit of a big bride, aren't ya? That's six pound eighteen, please.