I have found success with using complete honesty and respect with the cops when I get pulled over for speeding:

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"
"Because I was going 75, officer."
"You were going 85."
"Then I wasn't looking at the speedometer"

This conversation got me off with a warning, even though I was from out of state, and thus a favorite target of the Wisconsin highway patrol. The fact that I am caucasian with no tattoos or jewelry may have also been a factor.

An aquaintance of mine (who was/is a cop) once told me the following:

    When you get pulled over, pull into a well-lit, open area. If it is raining, pull over under a bridge or some sort of covering - within reasonable range. Once you are pulled over, turn on the cabin light, roll the window down and place both hands on top of the steering wheel. The cop will invariably come up and ask for your license and registration; you should say something like: "My license is in my wallet, which is in my right back pocket and my registration is in my glove compartment. I will retrieve them in that order." This shows the cop that he is in control of the situation, thereby making him comfortable. If you look the part, he might even assume you know someone well enough to fix tickets and his effort would be wasted.
    When you reach for your ID and registration, be sure to break eye contact. This may not mean much to you, but cops know that killers always maintain eye contact before striking their victims - constant eye contact might make some cops very nervous. Hopefully everything will run through fine, follow the above advice for talking to the cop, roll up your window and drive on.

So this guy is driving down the road, when he sees a cop's lights come on behind him. He pulls over, and the cop comes up to his window.

"I clocked you doing 75 in a 55, I need to see your license and registration please, sir.", says the cop.

"Well, officer," says the guy, "I don't have my license. You see, I kind of got it suspended for drunk driving, which is kind of what I'm doing right now. I'm not sure if the registration is in the glove box, see, cuz I kind of stole this car, but I'll tell you what! The gun is in there that I used to shoot the lady in the trunk!"

The cop (just a rookie, mind you) stares at the guy, and blinks a few times, choking inwardly. "You mean there's a body in your trunk?" he says.

"Yeah," says the guy. "You want to see? I can show you the gun, too!"

"No, NO!" says the rookie. "You just wait right here." He runs back to his police cruiser, and jumps on the radio, and just starts yelling, "Captain, Captain, you have to get down here!"

"Now, just calm down, son." squawks the captain on the radio. "Just tell me what's going on."

"Sir, I pulled over this guy, and he's telling me that he's driving drunk, in a stolen car, on a revoked license, and that he has a gun in the glove box and a body in the trunk and I have no idea what to do here. You've got to come help me!"

"Alright, alright. Just sit tight, I'm just up the road, and I'll be there in a minute."

So the captain pulls up a few minutes later, and he comes up to the guy's window, and he says, "Excuse me sir, can you slowly reach in your pocket, and show me your license, please?"

"Absolutely." says the guy, and he pulls out his wallet, removes his license, and hands it to the captain. He calls it in - perfectly valid.

The captain looks at the guy for a second, and says, "Well, sir, do you mind if I take a look in your glove compartment?"

"Go right ahead, officer."

So the captain goes around to the passenger side, and opens the glove box. Looks inside. Nothing except an envelope and an owner's manual. He takes out the envelope, and opens it up. Inside is the registration, with the same name as on the license.

The captain comes back around to the driver's side, and says, "Sir, one last thing. Do you mind if I take a look in your trunk?"

"Not at all, sir. I'll open it for you."

So the guy opens the trunk, and the captain goes back... Nothing but a spare tire.

The captain goes back to the guy's window, and says, "Sir, I'm really, really sorry to inconvenience you like this. You're not going to believe this but, I got a call from this rookie saying, get this, that you were driving drunk, on a revoked license, in a stolen car, that you had a gun in your glove compartment, that you had used to shoot someone, whose body was in your trunk!"

The guy stares at the captain for a second, and says, "You're kidding. He really told you all that?!"

"No lie, sir, that's what he told me."

"Damn," says the guy, "That's unbelievable. I bet that son of a bitch even told you that I was speeding, didn't he?"

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.