An event normally held in a public hall, where beef and beer are provided along with some sort of least common denominator music. These are often, but not always, in support of some cause, benefit or charity. The hall is normally a fire hall, Knights of Columbus, Rotary Club, or church basement.

I shall discuss each of these constituent entities (viz beef, beer, music and cause) briefly:

Beef: overly tenderized Roast Beef, usually lunchmeat, floating in a watery, salty stock, often identified as au jus. Served on a soft torpedo roll. If this is a high class affair, this is accompanied by a slice of American or Provolone cheese. Most people enjoy a bit of juice in the soft roll, but not enough to make it soggy.

Beer: Some form of an American domestic pilsner, served from a keg in the ubiquitous clear or red plastic cup. Often, the beer is headache inducing Budweiser, or insipid Coors Light. Regardless of the variety, the beer always tastes bad in plastic.

Music: Normally music from the 1970's, carefully selected to ensure no one is offended nor particularly entertained. This selection of music is also played at most wedding receptions and work holiday parties.

Cause: Normally, but not exclusively, one of the following:
  • To raise money for a childrens soccer, baseball, hockey league
  • To help a child with leukemia, multiple sclerosis or other horrible debilitating illness
  • To celebrate a surprise 30th, 40th or 50th birthday
  • To celebrate a child's Graduation from grade school
  • To raise money for a piece of firefighting equipment
  • To raise money for a building improvement for (a)church, (b)library, (c)town hall, (d)other public space.
It has never been determined whether or not people actually enjoy themselves at beef and beer events. Certainly, most participants display outward signs of enjoyment, such as laughing, telling jokes, smiling, and dancing. Yet most, if asked afterwards whether they enjoyed themselves, will give a non-commital "It was ok.". However, this general ambivalence on the part of the participants of beef and beers has done nothing to stem the tide of organizations and families willing to sponser these events.

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