My mother tells me (this assertion is supported by various official state documents) that I was born in a hospital in a city that is now blighted, but was then reasonably prosperous. My mother was there, but she doesn't remember it, having been given various pain and consciousness killing drugs, as were most women in the 60s, so she didn't have to deal with the excrutiating experience of bringing someone into the world.
Most of my life has been lived in mind numbing comfort and ease; even now, those things I have access to are so numerous and extravagent, they make me blush.
From time to time, I cook things. I then consume these things. Often alone, more often with family or friends. I do not eat a balanced diet: the things I cook are mostly protein laden animal products, and fatty. I am told this is not good for you, but I do it anyway.
Sometimes, I consume wine with my food. Many times I consider this a "civilizing" influence in my life. I know the names of many wine producing regions in different parts of the world, where I have never personally travelled. I need to know these names, so that when I visit my wine store, I know which bottles, of the thousands available, I must buy.
Usually I realize that drinking wine is just an excuse to consume alcohol, and benefit from the attendant intoxicating effects. Other times, I convince myself its something more.
In my life, I have, at various times, believed in religion, and rejected it. Wine plays a central role in the imagery and sacrements of the Christian religious tradition. Wine is equated to blood in this tradition. I try not to dwell too much on this imagery, when I am enjoying a bottle of, say, Chateau Mambert 1996. I have spent too much money on this drink to be thinking about crap like blood.
Although the city I was born in has basically died, the little suburban town I grew up in has prospered. These municipalities are about 5 miles distant. Most people think this disparity is because white people live in my little suburban town, whereas black and latino people live in the dead city. I don't know if I accept this explanation.
Someday I will overcome all of the difficulties of my life and be free. At least, this is what I believe. Most people, at some level, believe this.
In fact, my life has few real difficulties. This is not how I see it, but is probably how a disinterested third party would see it.
Nonetheless I cling to this notion: Someday, I will overcome all of the difficulties of my life, and be free.
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- My mission is to replicate my genes. I personally believe my mission is something higher; but my scientist friends assure me this belief is delusion.
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- If I could, I'd title this "Freedom"
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