Australians are renowned for being plain talking
and getting straight to the point
. As an example, here are some of the classic questions that were asked of the Sydney Olympic Committee
via their web site, and answers supplied where appropriate
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: Upwards, out of the ground, like the person who asked this question, who themselves will need watering if their IQ drops any lower...
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much beer you've consumed...
Q: Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes? (Germany)
A: Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being held in Sydney.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, so you'll need to have started about a year ago to get there in time for this October...
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: And accomplish what?
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
A: I'm not touching this one...
Q: My client wants to take a steel pooper-scooper into Australia. Will you let her in? (South Africa)
A: Why? We do have toilet paper here...
Q: Are there any ATMs in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: This HAS to have been asked by a blonde...
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: What's this guy smoking, and where do I get some?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?
A: Another blonde?
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face North and you should be about right.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Americans have long had considerable trouble distinguishing between Austria and Australia.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
Q: Are there places in Australia where you can make love outdoors? (Italy)
A: Yes. Outdoors.