I'm sure quite a few noders see Everything as an ever exanding database of, well, everything. This implies that even the most perverted information has to be encoded at some time. To me the honor of filling in this nugget of a node: a surely incomplete list of animals people have sex with. Mind you, not all of us debase ourselves in this regard. If you're easily offended, go look at the node animals that people have sex like, you'll find it more amusing. Well, for the list then:

  • Chickens (I've actually seen a manual for this floating around on the internet).
  • Sheep (meat, wool, sex... very useful animals I guess ;-).
  • Dogs (both females for the guys as males for the women).
  • Horses (this animal especially for women, because of its large, ehm, rod).
  • Humans (face it, we're all animals as well, aren't we? Well, some of us more than others in any case).

If you have any experience with/of other species, don't hesitate to add them.

Okay, first off, this is NOT from personal knowledge.

  1. Pigs: Male pigs have a corkscrew penis. This is a fact.
  2. Geese: Just a larger chicken, huh?
  3. Goats: I've read some amusing stories about sick goatherders having to tell their doctor just how they caught something.
  4. Hawks: To continue the avian lust.
  5. Monkeys: Some people just need to grow up. I mean, why not go for a human if you're going for something that close?
  6. Fish: So that's where the smell comes from...
  7. Lobsters: Who's heard the brine shrimp story?
  8. Snakes
  9. Eels
  10. Small rodents: Mice, Gerbils and Hamsters.
  11. Donkeys: Apparently a favorite down in Tijuana.
dolphins also seem to be favored by some; there's a website about it that probably gets most of its visitors in the same way as goatse.cx.

But zoophilia is not just funny or gross. It's a perennial flamewar on de.alt.liebesakt, and some people there have argued pretty coherently that why the heck should people not have sex with an animal if they really love it and it's anatomically possible and not painful to either participant? The standard reply (except for religious arguments) is that just like children, animals can't say "no" because they depend on you, and can't even tell you "yes" at all. The standard reply to that that a horse, for example, is quite capable of and ready to communicating its disagreement, especially to someone standing behind it. The zoophiliacs also claim that the animals in fact initiates the sex in some cases.

From personal experience (as an involuntary - not to mention horrified - spectator, NOT a participant): a cat.

Yes, you read correctly - a cat. I was an EMT in Indiana in the late 1980s, and in between ambulance runs we worked in the emergency room. One night a gentleman (using the term loosely) walked into the emergency room wearing a trenchcoat. Now, as everyone who has worked an ER knows, trenchcoats are bad, especially in the summer. This trenchcoat was especially bad, since it was moving and hissing. Needless to say, we escorted the gentleman and his trenchcoat to the back rather quickly. As it turned out, he had attempted to have carnal knowledge of a cat, which apparently went ok until the cat had a sphincter spasm, trapping him inside it. The cat, being understandably quite upset and, btw, non-declawed, had made its irritation felt by stripping large amounts of skin off its assailant's torso and thighs. We finally had to call a veterinarian to give the cat a shot of muscle relaxant. Since the police officers were in the habit of stopping by the ER for a coffee refill on their rounds, and had been attracted by the commotion, we didn't have to worry about the proper disposition of our customer once he had been detached from the cat and bandaged. The cat went home with the vet.

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