i will change my name and move to morocco
i will carefully alter my schedule
to throw off their clocks.
i will place copyrights
on all of my sentences and watch from on high.
i will water my plants in winter
and cover them in spring.
i will interrogate
myself mercilessly until i am broken.
i will call the psychic hotlines
and hang up, furious.
i will hang myself from the town hall belfry (at dawn
, of course).
i will sit in the bathtub
, naked, and pray for rain.
i will write the president
that i'm fine now, thanks for asking.
i will unplug all my appliances
and listen to my neighbors from the living room.
i will cover mine eyes
so that i cannot be seen.
i will write nonsense and philosophy
so that they will think me cleared.
i will invent new words for freedom
and pass out pamphlets.
i will ascend into heaven
(three days too late).
i will line my windows with mirrors
--let them look!
i will talk to myself, but only in third person formal
i will tour the concentration camps
and take furtive, scribbled notes.
i will turn in resume
' with two-weeks notices stapled to the back.
i will underline all the adjectives in the new testament
i will leave copies of gerontion
conspicuously around my house.
i will go back in time and do everything
exactly the same.
i will publish all of my sins chronologically
i will hire a team of detectives to watch me closely for treason
i will have them watched.
i will speak only when spoken to
i will spit it out
and having spit it out,
i will be silent.
I will be silent.