He knows something is up. It's not fair to him. I don't know what I want. I saw "Chess" on Saturday. It was wonderful. I keep hearing "Nobody's Side" in my head.. those first few verses.

I'm not happy, and I don't know why. I need to throw myself into something so I don't have to think anymore.

I didn't want to be his mistake..

that is the last thing I wanted to be.. I want him to love me, to feel part of what I am feeling. Why am I so stupid when it comes to him. Why is he my weakness, my downfall. What is he? I wish I weren't in love with him, I wish I could purge him from my world.


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