Now, grasshopper, I told you about the Discordian code, and you complain that it is not unbreakable, nay, that it is ambiguous, and it does not have a key, and it does not solve all problems, and it does not bring world peace or a cure for cancer.

Sure, and neither does a little hot-dog bun, and nonetheless we cherish it greatly, especially on Friday.

Now, if I were one of those cheap Zen masters I would leave it at that, or maybe just swat you with a flywhisk, since I am a pope and you are just a little insect (I called you grasshopper, you did not flinch: QED).

But as a pope I feel the need to pound some sense into that granitic box you call your head.

  1. Maybe the fact that the Discordian code sucks means that there is not much point in using heavy-duty cryptography on a lot of information.
  2. Maybe it means that a lot of information is ultimately bullshit, and you can confuse your enemies by leaving it in clear and hoping that they believe it.
  3. Maybe, if you have really important information, you should not even be considering any crypt but real, quality, crypt like RSA with a long key.
  4. And maybe, 5 tons of flax.
As for the apparently pointless conversion to numbers, I will simply point out that in there there will be many 5 (that's to say E, the most common letter in English), and we all know that 5 is a good number, our best friend in fact.