user since
Fri Nov 5 1999 at 17:55:22 (14.4 years ago )
last seen
Thu May 21 2009 at 21:25:50 (4.9 years ago )
number of write-ups
124 - View asqui's writeups (feed)
level / experience
6 (Artificer) / 5384
C!s spent
most recent writeup
Send private message to asqui


External Links

Links to external sites with E2 related 'utilities' that I frequently use.
Cow Of Doom's E2 Node Tracker
Gives you a full digest of your node statistics and can tell you what differences have occurred over time.
E2 Chatterbox Archive
Gives you a user and text searchable database of chatterbox archives as well as other neat statistics. It also lets you view the chatterbox in realtime.
JeffMagnus' Personal Snapshot
Sends you a daily email with information about the progress of your plan for total E2 domination. Includes some very sophisticated statistical functions devised specifically for E2. (NB: This is the personalised version of JeffMagnus' Everything Snapshot)
Got more? /msg me


Ideas for E2

Some ideas I have for improvement of the E2 experience.
Personal Links
A personal customizable nodelet complete with the facility for external links, like the one available on slashdot. This could make storing E2 related external links (like the ones above) much more convenient.
-- Submitted to dem bones {240502}
Comments? /msg asqui



My maintained metanodes.


Reading List

A list of books I should probably read sometime in the conceivable future.
The 2001 Quadrilogy by Arthur C. Clarke.
2001 : A Space Odyssey -- Done!
2010: Odyssey Two -- Progress: ~32%
2061: Odyssey Three
3001: The Final Odyssey
The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.
A trilogy in 5 parts:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
The Resteraunt at the End of the Universe
Life, the Universe, and Everything
So Long and Thanks for all the Fish
Mostly Harmless
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller.
I have already (at least partally) read it, but would like to re-read it at some point.
A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess.
Preferably before seeing the movie, though this is unlikely. (Too late...)
Lord of the Flies by William Golding.
This is a book they typically make school-children read. I slipped through the grate of education. Should I be thankful and never let the thought of reading this book of my own accord cross my mind?
Alice In Wonderland (Alice's Adventures in Wonderland) by Lewis Carroll.
I can't believe I haven't read this yet! I read the first few pages and quickly lost interest. I should read it at a later date. Someday.
1984 by George Orwell (Eric Blair).
'Animal Farm' was for GCSE English, I guess I should give this one a spin too...
James Dyson, Against the Odds (Autobiography) -- Done!
Birthday presant. This book seems very familiar at times. I believe I read some detailed reviews/blurbs about it some time ago. Good thing I got it as a presant else I would never have thought to read it!
Fermat's Enigma by Simon Singh -- Done!
An okay read, though a bit simplistic. Simon Singh has a tendancy to dumb things down too much for my liking. The book give you a good edge on a broad range but never really gets down to any proper nitty gritty.
Catch me if you can by Frank W. Abagnale -- Done!
I've read a similar book before: Portrait of a Young Forger (okay so its not actually that similar, one is about fraud, the other is about survival) A good read and gives you some food for thought. Some very good quick thinking in there to keep you on your toes.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey -- Done!
Read the book a while ago. It was an excellent read and quite powerful in some places. Oh, and everyone likes a happy ending. I am soon to watch the movie.
No Logo by Naomi Klein -- Progress: Done!
Seems to be an excellent book though I'm being awfully slow to get into it. From what I hear its packed with interesting facts and just puts down all those thoughts you've had in your head on to paper, with a ton of fact and research to back it up.


Viewing List

A list of movies I would like to see at some point.

  Seen and recommended:

My Cooled nodes:

Well just 4 of them so far :) --(reverse chronological order)

(Quizro) -- M&M's standard operating procedure for bored engineers {250602}
(Uberfetus) -- Target Rifle Shooting {170900}
(whizkid) -- Hubble Constant {160900}
(sensei) -- How to Solve an Academic Problem {100900}

My ching!ed writeups:

(reverse chronological order)

node physics, baby! -- Cartesian Diver {??0801}
and again :) -- Electro-Motive Force {??0701}
mmmm... chocolaty -- Chocolate covered coffee beans {??0701}
i never thought noding spam would get me somewhere :) -- Why Humans are Doomed {??0701}
node *mathematics*, baby! -- Mean Value Theorem {160601}
how to get rid of a tailgater {080601}
I knew noding random shit from A-Level Physics would pay off in the long run :) -- Hubble Constant {210501}
noded this one at school -- stores that require you to check your bags at the door {010501}
a type of marijuana -- White Widow {??0401}
a type of marijuana -- Amsterdam Flame {240301}
and old one... spent ages on it! -- Fullbore Rifle Shooting {140301}
woah, quick response! I submit then hit refresh and its Ching!ed --
Why you should always finish a course of antibiotics {220201}
About time... this one is hella, old. Still profiting from my previous hyper-noding. Ive settled down now... hardly ever node anymore! I just dont ahve the time... My writeups have *decreased* by 5 in the past few months! Thats not good... --
LAN party {100101}
No, not the astronomical one, the marijuana type... --Nebula {040100}
the do babies know math experiment {161200}
the things you learn -- The physical properties of DVDs {??????}
false proof -- one equals point 9 repeating {221100}
i must've been on acid -- don't fuck with this chick, or you'll get XP raped {??????}
Mathematics Jargon Metanode {??????}
Physics Jargon Metanode {??????}
the annoying truth -- How to spot bad internet porn stories {261000}
the simple truth -- People with extremely high XP/Writeup ratios {261000}
i dont see why its at -2... -- Read the whole node before C!-ing a writeup! {190900}
astrophysics (umm, or something like that...) -- radial velocity {160900}
interesting stuff -- cosmological red shift {160900}
Don't you just love to get into the technicalities? -- How to Wipe Your Ass {120900}
Amusing yet useful -- How to Solve an Academic Problem {100900}
who would've though noding physics would pay off? -- Stiffness of a spring {090900}
twice!!! wow, i knew physics was 1337 but this is too much! -- Hooke's Law {090900}
weird? whats that... theres no such thing as weird! -- weird {260800}
its almost...s...s...spooky, but then again its only chocolate! -- Mutant M&M's {260800}
lol those darwin awards are so amusing -- Darwin Award {260800}
finally, my comedy is rewarded --
Everything is like heroin - one hit and youre addicted for life! {260800}
well if theres no such thing as meaningful spam theres still amusing spam --
The Pate Story {260800}
well, we all abbreviate sometimes... -- abbreviation {260800}
a little comedy, sir? -- Everything got me fired! {040500}
hehe, desperate times call for desperate measures... thanks knifegirl for breaking level 4 for me :) -- GP factor {010500}
I'm no junkie but... -- marijuana {010500}
aww shucks -- don't judge a book by its cover {300400}
bet you didnt know there was this much to ketchup! -- ketchup theory {290400}
the cool theory -- I just cool noded my own node. {290400}
now this one took me by surprise :) -- flat universe {290400}
superstition anyone? -- A story about 'magic' {220400}
the safest sport around (no, really!) -- Target Rifle Shooting {220400}
informative -- All about M&M's {210400}
moreso! -- M&M's standard operating procedure for bored engineers {220400}
2 hours down the drain on this one! -- Everything is red {200400}
(I guess someone was trying to vote -1 when they cooled it... this was one of my first nodes and its complete troll at -3, maybe I should nuke it. Here it is N'Sync -- no wait, with the new Cool Archive it becomes aparent it was N-Wing's doing, and intentional too!)

Writeups I've Ching!ed:

Finally with my ability to C!, this list will beign to be filled! (reverse chronological order)

Humans have six senses, why does everyone think we only have five? (selkie) {031224}
Sure beats the 2 slide explanation the lecturer provided! -- Knuth-Morris-Pratt algorithm (tes) {170503}
I wish I had an imagination. -- Another node about some girl (elluzion) {150801}
wise words from a man with only 5 WUs (3 of them Ching!ed now) -- how long should taking a dump take? (seymore) {210501}
he must've spent ages noding all this! Its rather amusing if you come up to one of the sub-nodes by accident. As I did when visiting couch fishing. The words 'cartman, what the HELL are you talking about?' come to mind :) --
marathon (mblase) {160501}
now theres and mp3 i need! -- catting weird things to /dev/audio/ (asofel) {010501}
factual, informative, comprehensive -- Graves' disease (Card) {230201}
good WU, non-technical but quite informative, and long -- Mac OS X (emma__) ((node killed)) {230201}
good work for a first node! I helped her out with the details :) -- Fractured (emma__) ((node killed)) {230201}
amusing -- Highway Tales (wonko) {111000}
Informative -- anorexia (dipsy) {011000}
theres a decent writeup in there -- DO NOT READ THIS SENTENCE ((node killed)) {190900}
the interesting things you learn -- Pocket Hanky Code (spiregrain) {190900}
i find myself thinking this all the time! -- I would have cooled this if you had written it (stylee) {180900}
exactly my thoughts... -- all men are rapists (lagrange) {160900}
mkay - What it’s like being trapped in the body of a woman (niai) {130900}
informative -- the physics of water removal (ailie) {100900}
ADD toy (Electric Mollusk) {000000}
this is amusing :) she gets it again! -- Have you ever been asked to be in a porno? (datagirl) {130500}
well I'm not too religious :) -- What the fuck would jesus do? (datagirl) ((node killed)) {130500}
My first cool ever... and the winner is... -- Having a lot of RAM is conspicuous (datagirl) {010500}

Cool nodes that didn't fit in my personal nodelet

ie. nodes I would have chinged but already were...
Quality writeups which are under such obscure node titles that I have no hope in hell of ever finding them again if I don't make a note of them...
(reverse chronological order)

I've tried this before, but not in such an advanced manner. I should try again sometime -- How to make your own paper {210601}
Wendell Johnson's "Monster Study" on Stuttering {160601}
d&m -- Climb up on the Moon? Of course we did. {150601}
" " -- I could hear her thoughts {150601}
technical jargon :) -- signal to meta-signal ratio {100601}
That's right, that's right, LAY THE SMAK DOWN!!! -- Domain Abuse {080601}
no comment -- Why not just kill yourself? {080601}
HAH! Right on! -- video games influence children {070601}
girl smell {070601}
I'm glad I read this node -- I love you so much that I have to break up with you {070601}
wonderful WUs from stand/alone/bitch and tandex --
I don't remember what life was like when I was seven. I like the taste of air. What should I do? {030601}
useful tips I may need at some point in the future :) -- Geek's Guide to Working Out {300501}
creative and amusing ideas -- how to get rid of a tailgater {250501}
The shape of me and other stuff {250501}
this one has double rights to be here, firstly for the uber-geek rant and secondly for having those PI Search urls I've been trying to find again for so long! --
The phrase 'God is mathematics' is hidden in the digits of pi {210500}
I'm not a dyke just 'cause I shaved my head, but if it keeps certain people away, fuckin 'A right on {170501}
if you lie down with stupid people, you get stupid sex {170501}
Once again, It's not what you do, but who you do it with -- The best tuna fish sandwich I've ever had {170501}
I can't believe they have a word for this -- Nisshoken | The Right to Sunshine (160501)
Now were talking heavy-weight insults -- I fuck your sunshine {160501}
good stuff from Lost and Found! -- The Great Grand E2 Mix-Tape Lotto {130501}
my thoughts exactly -- I want to be alone until God rips a rib out of my chest and makes me a woman. {080501}
excellent node -- A child's view of bigotry {010501}
shit man, talk about RANT! -- the SCUM manifesto {080501}
How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus? {010301}
WOW -- The note I didn't give to the woman in the bookstore {230201}
Informative but highly disturbed -- creative methods of suicide {230201}
Awwwww, how sweet! I feel like I'm my roommate's mom {230201}
Informative! -- Why is it bad to compliment a woman's breasts? {230201}
hehe, you never can escape the geeky mind -- The Cottage Cheese Effect {230201}
interesting implications -- it's rude for a vegetarian to not eat meat {240201}
amusing, and probably factual! -- How the Potato Delayed the Microwave 10 Years {240201}
its a GTKY node, but still... -- my favourite math joke {230201}
damn right... i can feel myself going now, actually! --
those who are the most intelligent are often the most mentally unstable and likely to go insane {230201}
i know what you mean... -- the most unusual person i ever (briefly) met {230201}
informative -- Why you get Ice-cream headaches {230201}
3 words... Long Fucking Rant. Maximum respect! -- how to brush your teeth in a combat zone {230201}
strong and slightly conflicting emotion -- questions I'd like to ask my father {230201}
i guess some things only a mother feels -- the fun of breast feeding {220201}
elaborate and informative -- How to jump out of a plane, and what it’s like {220201}
food for thought -- It's so cool to wear Nike {210200}
trippy shit -- Why I'm Never Touching LSD Again {211100}
hardcore -- Mutant brains of London cabbies {141000}
awww -- Stop running {141000}
every weirass node title has a good story behind it -- Fuck the models {111000}
:( -- The Worst Moment {111000}
nice -- Sleeping with someone {111000}
touching... -- sometimes, being a friend is all you can be {031000}
Really, this isnt a troll... (damn that jessicapierce) --
This node is not about sex or politics. It is not exciting in any way. I do not want your damn crummy votes. Take them elsewhere. I hate you all. {011000}
I just need a hug, is all. {300900}
finally...someone agrees with me! -- Girls are hotter when they're comfortable {270900}
so true... -- Suicide is NOT a solution {270900}
lol...quality! :)) -- The Australian Grasshopper {180900}
...sorry... -- A day in the life of a girl who has mono {170900}
I'm such a sucker for mushy stuff -- Do you remember when Everything was small? {170900}
brilliant idea! -- The Great Grand E2 Book Lotto {170900}
....mmmm....loooong.... -- Rapid Uncontrollable Descent {160900}
I seem to be a sucker of d&m nodes lately -- The Swing And The Death Of An Old Man {160900}
I was even hanging out to cool this, but missed it! -- Bacon and Egg Toasted Sandwich {100900}
Beautiful! -- I want your hands on me {100900}
The basics that noone ever taught you --
how to walk past someone you work with in the hallways at the office {080900}
Something to keep in the back of your mind while noding :) -- What I think Editor Powers are {040900}
Quality -- How can I find a way out of a traffic ticket? {040900}
A touching story, very well told -- Straight Razor Shave {040900}
Havent been on in a while! This one brought a tear to my eye :( -- Her name was Natalie {260800}
Ditto, but it had a nice twist :) -- Peter Died Clean {260800}
"1) Stare at it for a while wondering what it is and why it seems familiar. This is because although I know how to spell my passwords, I don't often see them, so they look odd. And then I feel odd" indeed, so true! --
seeing your password right there on the screen {130500}
the interesting things we learn -- Everything Outside URL Hack {070500}
wow... you just melted my heart -- passionate kiss {050500}
mmmm, controversial... at leat I didn't drop any! -- Minimum Writeups Required To Level!! {050500}
gambling? yeah, E2 isn't deadly addictive as it is! -- What to do with XP {050500}
nice observation -- XP inflation {010500}
i hope its cheaper than coke -- crack caffeine {010500}
useful lessons in Linux hacking -- Why you shouldn't ping-flood your printer {010500}
lets rebel and go back to basics! -- Hailstone number sequence {010500}
oohh, mathematically intriguing -- Hailstone number sequence {010500)
classic -- Guide to being l33t {010500}
nice idea -- I'm staying the fuck out of the chatterbox {010500}
might need this one for later -- Everything 12 Step Program {300400}
ahhh, good old hacker tradition -- The Hacker's Kitchen Guide {290400}
but node-vertising is cool! -- Uberfetus's Patented Node-Vertising Pimp Stick {280400}
I always knew it -- geeks make good boyfriends {280400}
ooohh, technical! -- Discrete Logarithms {280400}
ahhhh, how sweet :) -- My mom kicks ass {280400}
too true! -- no means no {280400}
nice idea... -- EVERYONE PROJECT | the everyone man page {280400}
you tell 'em sista! -- Sequential cooling to make dumb messages in Cool User Picks {280400}
dont you just love philosophical? -- What is Everything to you? {280400}
capturing -- college is to porn as marriage is to love {280400}
the oh so common -- if i only had a few votes left... {280400}
interesting thougts! -- Point of no Reply {280400}
hahah, too much perl hacking for someone :) -- Node Assassins {240400}
lol, funny stuff :) -- The Retirement of Jessicapierce and Dem Bones {240400}
ditto! -- Jessicapierce's hot ass (thing) {230400}
Messages Injected Into 'Cool User Picks!' {230400}
Interesting... sometimes scary :) -- Pictures of Everythingians {230400}


(Nodes to write sometime...)
Mr. William Charles Lucan-Roberts;
The Braindance Coincidence, TEFOSAV, VENT, NESH, onethema, vodkah, all tefosav artists.

Why it's always harder to re-open the freezer immediately after closing it.

Portrait of a Young Forger (Book)

Webtender; the connection between tracker music and open source

How do refrigirators work?
Does girls' feces smell as much as guys'?


The number you have dialed is imaginary.
Please divide by i and try again.

Node Heaven

Node Heaven Statistics

"This shouldn't have been nuked!!!"                  3

Self requested nukes                                 3
   ...for moved WUs                                  1
                                       ( Total: 4 )
Superseded                                           2
      NFN one liners                                50
      copyright material                             4
      "Okay, that was a lame one"                   20
      Not really contributing to the nodegel        26
                                       ( Total: 99 )
                                       Sub Total:  109
"Boring" deletions                                  15
                                           Total:  124

What is life? What is death? What is our purpose?, The decrease in marginal value of nodes

Stats updated: 05-June-2002

This node was nuked without warning, and I'm interested to hear your ideas about why that is... so please /msg me if you come up with anything.

People with extremely high XP/Writeup ratios

30 C!

(idea) by asqui

The problem here is that, as no doubt others do, I tend to associate high XP with good writeups. At first thought anyways. But a soon as you think about it for a bit it doesnt seem all that plausable. I mean to get a 1:10 ratio of writeups to XP means that each writeup would have to be either cooled, or voted up to +30!

On the other hand, the other sources of XP are noding quests, and primarily voting for XP. All you really need to do is get a couple hundred nodes under your belt (not too hard when you directly paste 200 non-hardlinked nodes!) and start whacking in 50 or so votes per day... thats +750 XP per month!

That said I believe that there are two types of compulsive voters.

One simply votes votes votes to get rid of their votes and pile up precious XP as fast as possible.

vectormane seems to fall into this category for me. One of the first things he did was to node the entire Anarchist's Cookbook, with absolutely no hardlinking in any of the articles. This paste job currently accounts for over 50% of his writeups! The other 50% are completely useless, from what I've seen! (eg in his 70 writups since the cookbook paste job: cumguzzler, scat films, RedAssHole, revenge vote, every noder needs an insulting nodeshell!, The thing written in my Yearbook the most, 32, 2147483648, vectormane -- all very long, thoughtful, and worthwhile nodes...nope, no one-liner trolls...not at all) Watching his XP over time it has become aparent that he uses all his votes every single day without fail. His top ranking node is at +34, his fifth +7, his tenth +6 and his 20th is +3. Looks like a pretty steep fall off from here!

On the other hand, for someone such as datagirl, a high writup:XP ratio shows that she is a diligent reader who often finds the time to read around E2 and use all her votes. When she does node something it is almost always a briliant addition to E2, and worthy of a +1 if not a C!

datagirl: 195 writeups, 1938XP, 70 Ching!s
vectormane: 292 writeups, 3747XP, 18 Ching!s (half of which are from the cookbook paste job)

Draw your own conclusions, I rest my case!