Thanks to crack research, intuition, and supposition (not to mention wild speculation, the most insightful tool of them all), I think I have a pretty good idea of what E2 Editors can and cannot do to Everything Editors are the holiest of the holy, the most high, and their powers are awesome and should instill fear in all of us who do not have them.

Actually, my contacts on the inside did not make it clear if these were editor powers or god powers. Just know they're more powers than you will ever have.

This is what I've come up with so far. Please feel free to add more. If this node gets nuked, you will know it's because I've gotten too close to the truth.

That's all I know for now. If anyone has any others, please add them, before it's too late . . . .

if you don't think this is a joke, that's your problem

Well, well, well. Mr. Rich sashays his florid butt into the conference room and just attempts to take over the proceedings, does he? Well, isn't that special? What's that, Mr. Bones? No, let's let him live for another few minutes, at least. I think we should clear up some of this nonsense before a newbie gets the wrong idea. Mr. Nate, why don't you slit two holes in Mr. Rich's back and pull out his lungs while I let him in on a couple of secrets, OK?

Oh, I know that hurts. The Vikings called that the burning wings. Later on, we'll be removing limbs, little by little. Have you ever felt as if you were in a box, Mr. Rich? But first let me fill you in where you went wrong. Oh, Mr. Mojoe, would you be so kind as to pull a couple of molars from Mr. Rich's nice white mouth before I continue? Yes, the rusty pliers will do nicely. Thank you.

Now, Everything2 Editors cannot vote but once on any writeup. Just like you, Mr. Rich. Of course, you'll never vote again after this, but I just say this for the edification of others. You want to wipe that blood off of Mr. Rich's mouth there, Mr. Wharfinger?

While it is true that Editors can nuke any writeup on the system, there is a stringent system of checks and balances which make it as fair as a place such as this can be.

Oh, Ms. Pierce, could you be so kind as to start a fire under Mr. Rich now. That's right, just use the minutes from last week's meeting.

Now, where was I? No Editor can give or take away XP. No Editor can change your precious little home node in any way. Oh, could Team Jet-Poop please fan that fire a little. I think I'm sucking the air out of this room.

OK, back to your list of "items," Mr. Rich. No Editor can insert comments into the catbox and make them look as if they came from anyone except who they really are. No Editor can remove a user from E2 at any time. No Editor can read your e-mail. (But, seriously, who would want to?) No Editor can hide your w/u. Now, they can cool and uncool nodes from the Page of Cool, but that was none of your little business, anyway, was it, Mr. Rich?

Now, the gods of E2 can do all this and more. But they work from the Sacred Scrolls which were handed down at the Moment of Clarity when Mr. Bones climbed the Mountain of Justification, slaying the Demon of Perfidy along the way, and touched the hem of the garment of Mr. Nate.

And any questioning of that righteous occurrence is, of course, instant death for any noder. But you already knew that, didn't you, Mr. Rich?

Well, OK, that fire looks hot enough now. Ms. Ideath, did you bring the marshmallows?

mcc thinks, and begins to drift off...
and soon, a vision comes to him..

(idea) by Dem Bones

I am Ryan Postma,
prince of Everything Development Company and defender of the secrets of the Database.
This is JessicaPierce, my fearless friend.
Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword to nate and said,
"By the Power of MySQL!"
JessicaPierce became the mighty EDB,
and I became Dem Bones, the most powerful man in the universe.
Only three others share this secret:
Our friends, Knifegirl, The-Fez, and Sensei.
Together, we defend Castle E2 from the evil
Masters of the Universe!
cue horrible MIDI

oh God, i'm going to regret this one

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