The Gas Station/7-Eleven Hot Dog
Also known as the "24-hour dog", this cylindrical meat byproduct resembling a hot dog has been put under much scrutiny over the years (nowadays, however, 7-11 officially uses Oscar Meyer so that might alleviate some fears). Recently, I decided to buy one of these out of sheer boredom - a simple, $1.39 Big Bite from my friendly neighborhood 7-11 (coupled, of course, with a Vanilla/Coke Slurpee - no, not Vanilla Coke, 2 different flavors). With a little bit of fear, I slathered some onions, mustard, and chili sauce on my "Fresh-off-the-Grill" sausage.
Settling in a nearby parking lot, I took a bite out of my beautifully greasy meat stick.
It was absolutely disgusting.
But damn tasty.
The dog itself provided little to no resistance when you bit into it, the bun was stale, and the onions may or may not have actually been onions. But it was strangely satisfying. Perhaps it's the rejection of everything my body tells me to do to function as a human being. Maybe putting chili - or, at least semi-chili - on anything will make it good. But whatever it was, I'm afraid to admit it but I want another.
When I mentioned my problems with this 24-hour dog to my friend, he said "Oh, you must've gotten one from this morning. The afternoon ones are a lot better." He also mentioned he used to eat 7-11 hot dogs all the time... suspiciously, all he purchased was a Reese's candy bar and a giant cup of Mountain Dew. I wonder what made him quit.
Something else I thought was worth noting: it is an unquestionable fact that all convenience store/gas station hot dogs have been on the grill for days/weeks/decades. But these things sell fast! In the time I was in the store at least 3 were sold. So that's just a lie.