• You can GET chocolate.
  • "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
  • Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
  • You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
  • You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
  • You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
  • If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
  • Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
  • The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
  • You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers.
  • You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
  • You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
  • With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
  • Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
  • You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
  • Good chocolate is easy to find.
  • You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
  • You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
  • When you have great chocolate it doesn't keep your neighbors awake.
  • With chocolate size doesn't matter. It's ALL good!
The only previous writeup for Why chocolate is better than sex was strongly gynocentric this is an attempt to create a more androcentric writeup.

Why chocolate is better than sex:

and remember: ``Candy is dandy / But lick'er is quicker''

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