My sister, being the twisted, somewhat sadistic person that she is, invented many ways to torture her character in The Sims. Now, for your enjoyment, is a selection of these methods of torture, enough to make even the ancient Chinese jealous!

  • Lock them in a house with no doors or windows, only a fireplace and lots of wooden furniture. Make them light a fire.
  • Make a pool, have a Sim jump in. Delete the ladders and diving boards. Leave them there until their stamina is at zero.
  • Make two people using none of the personality points. Put them in two seperate houses. Wait until their relationship meter is at -100. Walk them out onto the street, gather the neighbors around, take bets, and watch them duke it out!
  • Force them to listen to country music on their radio.

I'm sure you can all come up with good tortures to add to this node. As for me, maybe she'll cough up the CD one of these days and let me play it. Maybe.

  • Ensure your entire family has 0 cooking skill by locking them out of the kitchen and forcing them to order pizza for every meal. One day, remodel the kitchen and line it with stoves, as many as will fit. Allow the family to enter the kitchen and watch them start fires and burn to death, one at a time.
  • Make a maze-shaped pool. Allow several female sims into the pool, along with one male. Delete the ladders and diving boards and watch the girls chase the guy around until he is dead in the water.
  • Remove the toilet from the sims' bathroom and put it in the middle of the living room, directly in front of the TV. Will they risk social ostracism by peeing on the floor, or will they submit to the humiliation of taking a dump in front of the whole family? It depends on your sims.
  • Build two small bathrooms adjacent to each other, with a shower in each. Wait until one (or more) unrelated sims are using the facilities in each bathroom and demolish the wall between them. Watch the sims freak out when they exit the shower to dry off, only to find their roommate/neighbor on the john in the same room with them!
  • Put all your sims' beds in one large bedroom, dormitory-style. Place the most expensive stereo you can afford in the center of the bedroom. Wait until nighttime, and as soon as all your sims have gone to sleep, turn the radio on. They will angrily awaken, turn the radio off, and then slowly fall asleep again. Repeat.
  • Invite a neighboring family over for dinner. Let your sims cook dinner for everyone. When the Sims are done eating, delete the dishwasher, sink and trashcan from the kitchen. Remove the toilets and showers from the house, and construct walls over every exit. Watch your sims and their neighbors wallow in their own filth for the next several days. See how long it takes before they become sworn enemies and fight each other constantly.

Finally, I have developed what I refer to as the Amityville Scenario:

  1. Construct an enclosed back yard with a barbecue. Invite the entire neighborhood over for dinner.
  2. Wait until everyone is in the yard, and then block all exits to the yard. Block the doorway back into the house.
  3. Watch as the neighborhood sims slowly starve to death over a period of days, losing all traces of humanity.
  4. If you don't provide a toilet or bed in the yard, the sims will eventually be reduced to staggering around peeing on the ground, mumbling to themselves and constantly weeping.
  5. Toward the end, each sim will develop a personal swarm of flies that follows him around as an indicator of his complete lack of personal hygiene.
  6. When all the sims but one are dead, reopen the house and allow the sole survivor to go about his daily life.
  7. Your back yard will contain a gravestone for every sim in the neighborhood. Move these gravestones inside the house, so that your sim will constantly be reminded of his horrible ordeal.
  8. He will spend most of his free time standing in front of the gravestones (which look like cremation urns when indoors) and mourning tearfully.
  9. After a few days, the dead sims will come back to haunt the survivor every night. Because of the sheer volume of ghosts, the survivor will never get any sleep and the rest of his days will be spent in abject despair. He will probably lose his job.
  10. At this point, it's only kind to lock your survivor in a kitchen with a number of stoves. Eventually he will get hungry, and the cleansing fire will take him (see above).

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