Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives. Dr. Laura Schlessinger, 1997.
Dr. Schlessinger (better known as the internationally syndicated radio talk show hostess, "Dr. Laura") could have spared us all a bit of trouble, by writing "10 stupid things PEOPLE do to mess up their lives" - this book is essentially the same as her oh-so-similarly titled Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, just with a male slant. They both boil down to: For the "men" version of the pattern, she derives 10 chapters as follows. (Preface each with the word "stupid, as in "Stupid Chivalry", etc.)
  1. Chivalry: "By getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, immature, etc.) you think that your love will save/transform her."
  2. Independence: Numbing a hunger for intimacy and bonding with empty indulgence of drugs, sex, work, and play.
  3. Ambition: Measuring personal achievement and self-worth by "stupid" yardsticks of money, toys, power, and status.
  4. Strength: Using intimidation, force, or manipulation to deal with feelings of vulnerability.
  5. Sex: Measuring sexuality and power by acting out sexually at every opportunity.
  6. Matrimony: "Lacking a mature sense of the purpose, meaning, or value of marriage, you realize too late you've married the wrong woman for the wrong reasons and feel helpless to 'fix it.' "
  7. Husbanding: Immature, unequal, inappropriate, unrealistic expectations of marriage and partner.
  8. Parenting: Estrangement from "nurturer" role in favor of "provider" and/or "disciplinarian" roles.
  9. Boyishness: Relationships with women are all colored by unresolved, vengeful, or estranged relationship with Mommy.
  10. Machismo: Confusion between being male and being a man.
While her tone can sometimes be irritatingly condescending, Dr. Laura hits a number of nails right on the head. A valuable book, but not invaluable. Try The Road Less Traveled for a better treatment of similar topics.

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