How to impress a woman:

Compliment her,
cuddle her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
stroke her,
tease her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hug her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine and dine her,
buy things for her,
listen to her,
care for her,
stand by her,
support her,
buy flowers for her,
go to the ends of the earth for her...

Now, ladies do you know how to impress a man?

Note: this is highly unethical, and it is not recomended that you actually do this.

Step 1.

Take the woman to a country in which military service is compulsory for females.

Step 2.

Naturalise the woman as citizen of this country. Remove any means she has of leaving this country.

Step 3.

Sponsor a terrorist organisation sworn against this country and assist it in causing horrendous damage.

Step 4.

Sponsor a group of citizens agitating for a new program of impressment to be instated or broadened.

Step 5.

Repeat steps 3 and 4 until the woman is impressed. Once this is done you may relax, she will be forced to serve in the army or navy as the state requires.

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