Act now!


The only vatican approved way for Nuns to masturbate in the bath! Limited Offer! Keep away dust vampires! Perform clean Exorcisms!

Get your Pope on a rope early, and you'll receive this bonus Wookiee Cushion!

Not for children under 10
Batteries not included
do not stop chainsaw with hands or genitals

Have you ever stood in your shower (naked, of course, and probably soaking wet) and thought to yourself, "Gee, I wish I had some really good poetry to read while I lathered up"?

Well Now You Can!

PoeticsPlus, makers of such fine household products as the Dickenson Duster® and Keats Kleaner®, are proud to annouce our newest tool for the literate in your family, Pope on a Rope!

Each Pope on a Rope is a hand carved block of soap with a stanza of lyric essay from the master himself, Alexander Pope. Choose from one of three elegant designs!

Essay on Man- A lovely peach scented bar strung on a chestnut yarn

The Rape of The Lock- A delicate fragrance of rose matched with a leather thong

Windsor Forest- The crisp scents of pine and juniper strung on highest grade twine.

Act now, and receive our famous PlathWare® kitchen utensil set FREE with your order!

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