- can be a bad thing or a good thing. You may, if you're lucky, find that you and your friend want to persue a romantic relationship. If you're not, it could take the other direction, and make you both so uncomfortable that you can't hang out anymore.

I went out with one of my best friends today. He called me up to go to a movie, just friends, since we haven't hung out in a while. We went to the movie, had a fine time, no holding hands or anything like that. Afterwards, we decided to go for a walk, and I took his arm.

We've always been pretty affectionate towards each other, just because, well, we can. We had a little fling once, when we took things too far, and I thought we've learned from that that it can't work...

It was cold, though, and we sat down for a while. We were cuddling, and we started talking about personal things...dating...kissing.

We started walking again, and eventually he asked what I would think if he kissed me. I said I would probably be embarrassed later, but I would let him. And he did.

I didn't feel anything. I don't know if it was the cold, or it's just not meant to be, but I didn't feel any chemistry. I didn't say that, though. I didn't say anything special.

The point is, tomorrow we're going to see each other, and it's going to be weird. I don't know how I'm going to act, or how he's going to act, but I'm betting we're not going to be all over each other. I don't know what he thinks, or what anyone else would think if they knew. What they would think of me...or him...or us?

Kissing my best friend wasn't the greatest idea.

It was a great idea.

We were friends for the longest time, as far back as public school. I had a crush on her. I also had a bad haircut, poor social skills and about 30 lbs more than I should ideally have had.

I'm so kind to myself.

In high school we started chatting with each other regularly. I would rant, she would laugh, we basked in our combined angst. One day she added a little heart when she said goodbye. Another day she asked me if I had a crush on anyone. We decided we wanted to try dating.

We were sixteen, we were awkward. My heart raced when I put my arm around her, and went no further. The last time I went over to her house, I made a desperate attempt to kiss her on her front step. It did not go well. I stopped talking to people after that.

Years later, I resurfaced during first year of university. I found her again, by chance. We started talking, we liked the same movies, we felt the same way about all the important things. We were both in relationships.

Summer approached. I grew apart from my girlfriend, her boyfriend cheated on her. We made plans to hang out.

We went back to our old school, we mourned over the missing playground, we talked about books, I couldn't retrace the conversation's path even if I tried. She snuggled up closer to me under the pretense of being cold, I put my arm around her under the pretense of being a gentleman.

When it came time for me to leave, she lingered outside her front door. I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer, she looked up and we kissed.

Later on she would tell me that the reason she started laughing is because she was so happy.

It wasn't cold, I started shivering because of adrenaline.

We kissed again.

OK, well, it was a great idea this time.

He asks me, do you remember?

I close my eyes, and my mind hits replay.

I can still feel my heart fluttering as he takes that final step and pulls me close. I can still feel that first moment of shock register, and then slowly melt into complete bliss. I can taste his flavour on my tongue. I wouldn't compare his taste to something ridiculous, like the sweetness of sugar, it is simply him in essence, and he is everywhere - around me, on me, within me. I can feel my hands desperately grabbing at his shoulder, his neck. I'll never forget how he held me - his arms fastened tight around my waist, and I still remember his comforting, familiar scent encircle our intertwined bodies.

I reminisce on that perfect, quiet moment afterwards where I am lost for words, and don't want to ruin this beautiful moment with my incoherent babbling. He holds me tight against his chest, and I am glad he does so, because I don't know how I would react if we were still face to face. He asks me how I feel, and I say that I can't breathe. We hold each other for a while, and I breathe in the smell of his skin. The only words that cross my mind are ones of peace. My heart is racing, and as I reach up to press his hand to my pulse, he moves slightly, so my head rests on top of his. He asks me again if I can breathe now, and without a word, I reach up and pull his lips to mine, for the second time.

This time it's different. There is no shy awkwardness between us - only I, a girl he cares so much about, and him, my best friend. His hands move around me now, pulling me so close that there is no space between our bodies. I fall mindlessly into his embrace, and he takes the lead with an air of masculinity. We fall, lighter than feathers, quieter than anything else, and suddenly, I'm lying across the desk, and his hands are still wrapped around my torso.

My arms snake up and pull him tighter, if that's even possible, and his lips drift from mine, trailing to my jaw line, where he moves softly, slowly, quietly, placing sweet butterfly kisses up and down my neck.

I then realise that I might love this guy after all.

My breathing increases, and I feel his ego build, a smirk under those amazingly soft lips. Impatient, I twist my fingers into the tendrils of hair at the nape of his neck and pull him back to my lips.

Time goes past, seconds, minutes, hours, there is no measurement. It is all the same. The only thing I know, is when I tentatively open my eyes, and see his face, so so, close to mine and his gorgeous eyes shut, is that I hope this never ends.

Still, everything must end, and that hurts me a little. But when the last few seconds of the perfect first kiss dance past, he pulls away, smiles down at me, and asks me if I enjoyed that.

I don't respond. But he knows that there are no words for the happiness and contentment that is surging through my blood as I wrap my arms around his waist, and lay my head on his chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart again.

Then he tells me, he should go now. Numbly, I nod, but then am taken by surprise for not the second time that day, as he swoops down to press his lips to mine in a desperate attempt to feel what we both felt not less that a minute ago. This was just a one off thing after all. There would be no next time, and after this moment, we would still remain as just friends. He pulls away, and when I open my eyes he's gone.

He asks me, do you remember?

I look at my best friend with wistful eyes, thinking about how less than a few months ago, those lips were mine for a precious few minutes. As I look away, I reply, no.

There is no need to recall what I think about every single day.

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